


so a squad of clowns walk into a bar

by dontrollthedice



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, wingmaning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontrollthedice/pseuds/dontrollthedice
Summary: The one where the Idots try their hand at wingmaning, Spifey remains as oblivious as ever, and Tapl kind of really wants to throw himself out the window. A lot.
Relationships: George | Spifey/Harvey | TapL, Harvey | TapL & Everyone
Comments: 157
Kudos: 290





	1. Local Toe Guy Demands Sacrifice of Toe Pics

**Author's Note:**

> so here's the format: all the idots will have a chapter centered around their interactions with tapl. tapl will also have side interactions with his other friends bc ya bitch loves friendship. Consider this my love letter to this ship

Logically, it was easy to tell who had the brain cell most of the time in the Idots friend group (the literal, serious, unironic name they called themselves. Who came up with that?). Tapl had too many classes with Skeppy to disregard how little he cared about having a turn at the brain cell. Finn and Vurb had their bright moments but for the most part, their crackhead energy overpowered any bit of brainpower they had. And Zelk?

Goodness. Just forget about Zelk.

But after this many shots…

“Hey, that sweater looks good on you.”

“Oh, thanks, Harvey!” Spifey said, shooting him a bright grin before turning to answer Skeppy’s question about a math problem. The rest of the table spared him a glance before returning to their own work (all of which was likely due today knowing them).

Sometimes Tapl wondered if he was intentionally dodging every hint he threw his way or if he really was just this stupid.

Tapl sighed and made eye contact with Vurb, who only managed to mouth _toes_ at him before Tapl whipped his head around in the other direction.

It had all started a couple months ago during some stupid hangout at the movie theater Skeppy had wrangled him into. The ticket Skeppy had handed him was nestled right between Spifey and Zelk, who had taken up enough space on their shared armrest (on purpose, too, it had to have been on purpose) to force Tapl into leaning closer to Spifey's side. Spifey, to his credit, had sensed Tapl's discomfort and offered him a reassuring smile before shifting aside to give Tapl more space. They had continued watching the film in silence, no words exchanged between the two since they stepped into the theater. Around halfway through the film had been when Tapl realized he probably shouldn't be aching to reach for Spifey’s hand.

Coincidentally, that had also been the hangout Tapl had punched Zelk in the gut after one too many bad jokes about making "ZapL" a thing. 

Whatever _that_ meant. Ugh.

Fast forward a couple months from then, and Spifey still hadn't the faintest clue about anything. And while Tapl would normally celebrate that, he had been trying to get his feelings across the entire time.

Tapl turned back to Vurb, whose stare on him hadn't relented.

Vurb definitely knew _something_ was up. He wouldn't have that shit-eating grin on his face otherwise. And while Vurb was probably the silliest of the Idots friend group, he could be eerily, _eerily_ perceptive.

"Why're you guys staring at each other?" Finn said.

"Staring contest," Vurb answered without missing a beat.

Tapl resisted the impulse to roll his eyes (he was in a staring contest now, after all). Of course Vurb had created a lie good enough to trap them into something neither of them wanted to do. But okay, Vurb. He'd be damned if he was losing anything to Vurb of all people. Bring it, bitch.

Tapl lost several seconds later.

"Holy crust, my eyes. My eyes!" Tapl said, wiping the bits of pooled water away from his eyes. "How are yours still open?"

Vurb opened his mouth to answer, but someone beat him to it.

"Wait, Harvey, are you alright?" Spifey asked, his lips pulled into a frown. His hand was lifted into the air as if he were about to reach out and touch his cheek—

Tapl snapped his head away. "Yeah, no, I'm fine. Really."

And he was. The impromptu staring contest hadn't actually hurt, after all. No, he was much more concerned about his reddening face and quickening heartbeat.

That and the fact Vurb still hadn't blinked yet. But that was neither here nor there.

* * *

Vurb heading straight towards anyone was never a good sign, much less leaning against a set of lockers like a wannabe model.

Tapl looked him up and down before closing his locker. Was this something he wanted to involve himself in? "Hi, Vurb."

"So," Vurb started, smirking like a teasing child. "You and George, huh?"

"Which one? There's like ten in this school."

"You know exactly which one I'm talking about."

"Vurb, I'm not even sure _you_ know which one you're talking about."

Vurb wrinkled his nose, and Tapl bit back a grin.

Two classes had passed since this morning. Honestly, Tapl had expected Vurb to forget whatever he was planning by the time their first class began. Props to him for keeping at least one thing in his head.

For now, their third classes were in rooms right next to each other. Tapl supposed he couldn't just throw Vurb off his trail by weaving through the crowd. This wouldn't be something he could avoid.

Well… Vurb was a good friend, right? His toe obsession got a bit weird at times and he had a penchant for mischief, but his heart was in the right place. Most of the time, anyway. Tapl had never imagined himself admitting something this to Vurb, but then again, he had never imagined himself to be in this situation in the first place.

Didn’t mean he was about to pour his heart out to Vurb in the middle of the hall, though. They were still surrounded by other students.

"Why do you care anyway?" Tapl said, brushing past someone walking on the wrong side of the hall.

Instead of laughing it off like he expected, Vurb frowned. "I mean, you're both my friends. I think anyone wants to see their friends be happy."

Oh. Well, now Tapl just felt bad.

"That and it's kind of painful seeing you fail at flirting with him. It's worse than watching Zelk sometimes."

Nevermind.

"It's not flirting," Tapl said.

Vurb leveled a tired glance at him. "It kind of is."

"No, it's not."

"It is."

"It's not!"

"It is!"

“Vurb, I’m not talking about this with you right now,” Tapl sighed. He glanced up. Thank god their classes were coming up soon. A couple more steps and they’d have to separate.

Vurb raised an eyebrow at that. “Implying you’ll talk about this with me later?”

“What? No—”

“Cool, we’ll talk about this later then. See you, Harv!” Vurb gave him a pat on the shoulder before strolling into his classroom.

He blinked.

What the fuck? Did he just get verbally strong-armed into this situation by _Vurb?_

Okay, well. It could’ve worse, he supposed. He wasn’t sure how, but it sure could’ve been worse. Or something like that. Ugh, he needed to chill out.

Tapl entered his class with a sigh. While only about half the class had filtered into the classroom, one familiar person sat in his usual place right next to Tapl, his head bowed down as he tapped away at his phone.

“Techno, we meet again,” Tapl said, pushing away his worries. This wasn’t the type of class where those were needed.

Techno looked up and gasped. Seemed their usual greeting was still running its course. “It’s Tapl.”

“You finally gonna join us for fencing today?”

“Nah, still doing my training with sensei.”

“Oh, come on, please? Tommy keeps complaining about you not being there. Zak never comes anymore either.”

“That sounds like a you problem. I must come back even stronger than before. My character training montage isn’t done yet.”

“... Is this because Dream beat you last tournament?”

Techno didn’t answer.

Tapl rolled his eyes and set his backpack down on the desk next to Techno, the events of today slipping from his mind.

He could think about that disaster later. For now, he had a stubborn fencing captain and a boring class to handle.

* * *

Aw, fuck, he forgot about this.

“Wait, how'd you find me?” Tapl asked, holding one earbud out.

Vurb shrugged. “I mean, everyone knows you eat out here. You don’t really try to hide it, buddy.”

That much was true. Tapl didn’t know how he managed to get away with it every day, but he usually slid out one of the side doors of the school and ate lunch while seated on the sidewalk just beyond the door’s vision in case anyone walked out. It wasn’t the most comfortable spot by any means, but it was his own. Alone time in a school was frustratingly difficult to get.

Sure, he wasn't too happy about his alone time being interrupted, but he had never put effort into trying to hide where he was available at lunch. That was his own fault, not Vurb’s.

"Can we talk for a second or would you rather me just shut up and walk away?" Vurb said, pausing to crouch down next to Tapl. "I know you like being away from people for a while, so I just wanted to make sure before I proceed to bug the shit out of you."

Oh. That was awfully considerate of him. There was nothing on Vurb's face that hinted any of this was a joke either. Maybe he needed to adjust his expectations of Vurb.

"You're good," Tapl said. He paused the music on his phone and took out his other earbud. "What do you need me for anyway?"

"To make a toe deal."

Nevermind. Tapl took all of that back.

"Okay, I know what you're thinking," Vurb said in his typical Vurb fashion, raising his palms up defensively. "You're thinking, 'Oh, Vurb's just being the fucking toe guy again.' But I assure you I'm more than that, Harvey. I'm so much more than just the toe guy."

"Astelic calling you that really messed you up, huh?"

"No, of course not. What makes you think that?”

"... Right. Just tell me what you want."

"Your toes. Hand them over."

"This isn't helping your case," Tapl said. He uncapped his water bottle and took a gulp of water.

Vurb rolled his eyes. "Okay, but would you rather have had me say toes or me wanting to help you find love?"

What the fuck—

Tapl choked on his drink, coughing and holding his hand to his heart.

"Yeah, thought so." Vurb raised a concerned glance to him and patted his back. "You good, man?"

"You just said—"

"Why're you so surprised? I literally told you I was gonna talk about this."

"I forgot!"

There was a moment of silence between the two before Tapl finally caught his breath.

"Hey," Vurb said. And for once, his face was much too serious, his words much too heavy for Tapl's perception of who he was. "I don't know about the others, but I see you looking at George a lot like… I don't know, like you could only ever see him for the next year and still be happy. I thought it was just a one-off thing at first, but then you started complimenting him a lot."

"Well, what's off about that?"

"There wouldn't be anything weird about it if you picked normal fucking compliments that weren't super specific to George. I think once you complimented him on his smile, like simp levels of complimenting. And you do this thing where you're completely fine with physical touch from other people but refuse to be touched by him specifically. But I know you want to touch him because you're always either looking at his face or his hands. I literally saw it this morning." Vurb raised an eyebrow. "Do you need me to say more or did I explain it well enough?"

Tapl took in a sharp breath, and his shoulders tensed.

All of that was true. He had hoped he was more subtle about it, but if Vurb of all people picked up on it, his stupid crush was probably visible to everyone.

“Well? Am I right?"

He was cornered. He could wriggle his way out of any situation except this.

"You good?"

After all this effort, Vurb probably deserved to know the truth.

"I mean…" Tapl sighed, averting his eyes. His gaze latched onto the ant crawling across the sidewalk, and he couldn’t help but feel just as small as it. "Yeah. You caught me. I like George."

A heavy warmth placed itself on Tapl's shoulder. When he looked up, Vurb had put a hand on Tapl’s shoulder and offered him a smile.

"Feels good to admit it out loud, right?" Vurb said.

"No."

"Wow. That was supposed to be a beautiful, poetic moment. You gave me such a boring answer. Couldn't you have just lied to me about that?"

Tapl laughed at that, prompting a chuckle from Vurb. His shoulders relaxed, and the knot of dread in his stomach finally started untangling. "Nah, I'm good."

Vurb rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged on his lips. "Whatever. You up for hearing my deal now?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Okay, so." Vurb rubbed his hands together like a Disney villain. There was a glint in his eyes that Tapl wouldn't have trusted if not preceded by the entire conversation they just had. "You've only been complimenting him so far, right?"

He didn't like where this was going, but he nodded anyway.

"How about this? Why don't you give him a little—" Vurb cut himself off to brush his arm against Tapl's. "Like that?"

Tapl looked down at where Vurb had brushed his arm, then looked back up at him, wondering why he let himself get into this situation.

Vurb pouted. "Oh, come on, don't give me that look. Break the touch barrier, my guy. Put your hand on his shoulder. Take his hand if you're feeling particularly spicy. If you do, I’ll let you tweet from my account once. But if you don’t…” He paused, presumably for dramatic effect that didn’t work since Tapl already knew what he was about to propose. “I get toe pics."

He sounded so nonchalant about that. Why did he sound so nonchalant about that?

" _My_ toe pics?" Tapl asked, raising an eyebrow. He frowned. "Wait, why did I say that like I take pictures of my toes?"

Vurb's eyes brightened. "You take pictures of your toes?"

"No. _No._ Just…" Tapl groaned and pulled his knees up to his chest. "I know you guys can touch him a lot, but what if… what if he doesn't feel comfortable with me specifically, you know? It's so easy to fuck up with something like that."

The silence after that was uncharacteristic. Tapl knew for a fact he was incapable of shutting up when he was one-on-one with a friend like this. As for Vurb, he was incapable of shutting up in general. When both of them were quiet, it was unnerving for everyone involved.

Vurb was the first to break that silence. "You know I asked George about this beforehand, right?”

“You _what?”_

“Not about _this_ this, but about the physical contact thing. I won’t tell you what exactly he said because that would feel like I’m kind of betraying him, but…” Vurb laughed. “He won’t mind. I can promise you that.”

They fell silent again as Tapl stopped to think.

The Idots, while not an isolated group, were still a very close-knit one. If one person had trouble with a subject, they all had trouble with the subject. If one person had good news, they celebrated together. And if one person felt a certain way, they were all sure to know by the next morning. Vurb, while not generally a reliable source for anything else, could be trusted on this.

"If things go wrong, I'm throwing you under the bus," Tapl said.

Vurb laughed at that and stood up. "I'd like to see you try." He paused. "Don't actually, though. I feel like you'd actually throw me under a moving vehicle.”

“I did throw you into a pool that one time.”

"I thought you were the one who threw my phone in."

"No, that was Zak. You said your phone case was waterproof and he wanted to test it.”

“... Oh, yeah.”

Then Tapl gasped. “Wait, did you say I get to tweet from your account?”

The immediate regret on Vurb’s face made his answer clear.

“Make that five tweets.”

“What? No.”

“Come on, five tweets. It’s only five tweets!”

“Harv, I love you, but you’re not getting five fucking tweets off my account.”

“You’re just afraid I’ll actually do it.”

“I am!”

By the end of lunch, they had settled on three tweets, one of which Vurb can approve or reject. It was only when Tapl was heading back to his class when he realized he had just agreed to the most embarrassing deal of his life.

* * *

Just being looked at by Vurb like that made Tapl’s toes curl up in fear. Vurb throwing his arm over Tapl’s shoulders exacerbated that fear.

“Get the hell away from me,” Tapl grumbled.

Vurb only laughed and ruffled his hair like Tapl was his little brother. Fucking bastard.

Skeppy had a bad habit of not thinking about who he invited to his study sessions. Right now at this bubble tea shop, Bad sat at the edge of the booth. Smart decision, putting the person who could talk his way out of any trouble the group got into in the front. Skeppy, of course, sat next to him, sneaking sips of his bubble tea when he thought he wasn’t looking. Spifey sat in the middle of the group and was the only person who was actually paying attention to the study materials on the table. And then Vurb cornered Tapl into sitting next to Spifey, robbing him of his usual outside seat.

Bastard. Absolute bastard man. Maybe if Zelk and Finn hadn’t bailed on them last minute, there’d be a barrier between Tapl and everyone involved in this stupid situation.

Skeppy laughed and sipped from Bad’s bubble tea, ignoring the “Hey!” thrown at him. “I’ve never seen Harvey look like he wants to die more than right now.”

That sounded about right, yeah. “Zak, you invite the worst people. Why’d you invite this man, this _clown?_ ” Tapl said.

“Because he makes us look better,” Spifey laughed.

“Aw, thanks, Geo—” Vurb cut himself off. “Wait a second, fuck you!”

“Language!” Bad said with a frown.

“Yeah, watch your fucking mouth, Vurb,” Skeppy said.

“Hey! Language!”

Skeppy snickered along with Vurb while Bad pouted at them, but Spifey stayed silent, sipping his drink and staring straight at Vurb.

The tension began when Vurb looked back, and Skeppy and Bad’s following argument faded into the background.

It was strange. They held each others’ stares, Spifey’s face neutral while Vurb smiled, almost _smirked_ at him. It was as if they shared knowledge about something Tapl didn’t know, like they were speaking through their eyes.

Then it was over as quickly as it began. Spifey glanced away, and the glinting edge in Vurb’s gaze disappeared.

What the hell?

“Oh, yeah,” Skeppy said. It seemed he was finally done with his mini-argument of the day with Bad. “Harvey, did you kick Vurb’s ass yet? I wanna see you destroy his Twitter page.”

Tapl blinked. “Oh, Vurb told you about the deal?”

Spifey blinked at that as well. “What?”

“We made a bet,” Tapl explained. “If I do my part of the deal, I can post five tweets on Vurb’s account. If I don’t, I have to…”

Ugh. He didn’t want to say it.

“Say it, Harvey,” Vurb said, grinning.

“Vurb, I’m gonna throw you out the window.”

“Say it!”

“... I have to give him toe pics,” Tapl sighed, crossing his arms.

A chuckle escaped from Spifey’s lips, but he stifled them with a hand. When he took his hand away, he was grinning. “Harvey, why would you agree to that? Do you not value your toes?”

“ _My_ toes if he doesn’t do something soon,” Vurb said with a grin that was far too devious to not be a hint.

Tapl narrowed his eyes at him.

Vurb was right: this was the optimal moment for him to take action on that bet. While there wasn’t a set time frame to complete it, Tapl didn’t want to wait so long Vurb was hounding him about toe pics every day. But what was a toe pic compared to possible embarrassment? It was just his toes, and Vurb (as far as Tapl knew anyway) didn’t have an actual fetish for toes. Even if he couldn’t humiliate Vurb on his Twitter account, Tapl knew he could always humiliate Vurb in real life. Just surrendering the toe pics was the far more optimal outcome.

And that would’ve been the end of the story if Vurb hadn’t involved their friends in the bet.

There, that was the element of peer pressure. While not overt enough for anyone without all the information to call him out on it, Tapl knew if he surrendered, all his friends would hear Vurb bragging about toe pics for months. That was enough to fuel the fire that was his competitiveness. 

Vurb was smarter than he thought, eh? If Vurb wanted a competition, then he’d get one all right.

This was the perfectly crafted moment. He needed to take advantage of it before Vurb started editing cursed photos together.

“Ugh, get this man away from me,” Tapl said, slipping Vurb’s arm off his shoulders. Before his thoughts could get the better of him, he scooted closer to Spifey and pressed his side against his. “Stupid toe guy.”

“Stop calling me the toe guy!” Vurb whined.

Tapl laughed with the rest of the table. When he looked up, he was met with Spifey smiling down at him with the brightness of the stars.

His heart was beating so fast. Holy shit, his heart was beating so fast. And Spifey wasn’t moving away! There was plenty of space between him and Skeppy, but he wasn’t moving away. Instead, he leaned into the touch. Was Tapl overthinking this? Whatever, Spifey was warm and Tapl’s brain had stopped working the moment they made contact. Tapl had to be careful not to fall asleep.

Okay, math. He needed to look casual, like his heart wasn’t threatening to explode. Precalculus. Matrices. Numbers.

Fuck. He forgot how to do all of this. He had a quiz the next day. They _all_ had a quiz the next day in at least one class.

It was a while before anyone spoke again, everyone seemingly coming to that realization with him and busy cramming. But when the silence was broken, it was Spifey who spoke again after pulling a KitKat out of his bag.

“Hey, Zak,” Spifey called, biting back laughter. “I just remembered I had to do something.”

Skeppy took one glance at him, then frowned. “Where’d you get that?”

“My teacher. I was on the winning team for a class game in history.”

“Of course, you were,” Skeppy mumbled under his breath.

“Zak. Look at me.”

Finally, Skeppy hesitated before turning his head towards Spifey. “I know what you’re about to do, George. You always do this when you have a KitKat. And now, I’m telling you to stop it, or else I’ll—”

Spifey locked eyes with him, then bit straight into the KitKat bar.

That wasn’t funny. It wasn’t funny. Why was it so funny?

Tapl laughed to himself, muffling the sound behind a hand.

“Zak,” Vurb called as all emotion drained from Skeppy’s face. “George, I think you broke him.”

“What’s wrong?” Bad asked, tilting his head. “Is that not how you eat a KitKat?”

“Bad. Please.”

“What?”

Chaos unfolded as Spifey took another bite of the KitKat. There was no way any of them would be getting work done for the rest of the hangout.

Tapl’s eyes fell on his near-empty cup of boba tea.

Well. Time to join the fun.

Tapl removed his straw from the cup, tore the plastic lid off his bubble tea drink and downed it. When he had drank enough to be satisfied and finished chewing the leftover bits of boba, he returned to Vurb bent over the table in laughter, Bad pretending he didn’t know what was going on, Spifey snickering, and Skeppy…

“I hate both of you,” Skeppy spat, turning away. “You’re both disgusting.”

Tapl laughed and looked up, exchanging a smile with Spifey. And at that moment, Tapl couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else other than by Spifey’s side.

* * *

“You ready to practice this presentation?”

“Hell yeah!” Sapnap cheered.

“You ready to fuck up everyone’s ears?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Woo!”

Both Tapl and Sapnap froze when the librarian shushed them from across the library, shrinking and mumbling their apologies.

Their presentation was indeed due tomorrow, and they would be first on the chopping block (because _somebody_ had been too slow to stand up and walk to the front of the fucking classroom to sign up for a time. Damn you, Sapnap). Was it a good sign that they had only started and finished making the slideshow for it all in the last twenty-four hours? Tapl didn’t think so, but at this point, he didn’t care.

But neither of the two cared to be publicly shamed for presenting their slideshow on themes of _The Great Gatsby_ outside, nor did they care for being yelled at by their families for being too loud. That was unavoidable; they hyped each other up too much. The school library was the best option with every student in the library seemingly having earbuds or headphones on, but that didn’t apply to the staff.

Tapl set his backpack down on at a table of four and set his laptop at the very end of the table.

Sapnap stretched his arms after setting his own backpack down. “You ready?”

“Yeah—wait, shit, the laptop fell asleep, sorry.”

“It’s cool.” There was a pause as Tapl frantically clicked at the mousepad before Sapnap spoke again, his voice quieter. “Hey, Harv, are those two behind the counter your friends? They keep staring at us.”

Tapl looked up once the laptop screen lit up, only to see two figures behind the library counter trying (and failing) to stifle their laughter.

Oh no.

Tapl moved his gaze back to the laptop. “Yeah, don’t worry about them. Just stay away from the toe guy.”

“The _what_ guy?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Well… okay.” Sapnap clapped his hands together after seeing the title screen of their presentation pop up. “First run pog?”

“First run pog!”

“Let’s fucking go!”

“Hell yeah!”

“Guys,” came a third, much quieter voice, “what’s with all the enthusiasm?”

Ah. The one person he didn’t want to see this shitty presentation.

“Oh, hey, George,” Tapl said, crossing his arms as if he didn’t want to shrink into a ball. Judging by the heat rushing to his face, he wasn’t doing a very good job. “I forgot you and Vurb actually volunteer here.”

Spifey offered him a tight smile. “Sometimes I forget Vurb volunteers here, too.”

That was true. Student volunteers for the school library tended to be on the quieter, less cursed side. Both Spifey and Vurb were exceptions to that. Tapl still found himself doing a double-take at times when he walked in and saw them behind the counter.

Sapnap poked Tapl on the shoulder. “Hello? Harvey? You gonna introduce me or what?”

Ah, fuck.

“Oh, sorry,” Tapl said, shaking his head. “Sapnap, this is George. George, this is Sapnap. Boom, intro done.”

The two exchanged a quick greeting, Sapnap commenting that he knew another George and Spifey offering to differentiate himself with another name. Soon after that, Sapnap asked why he had abandoned his post behind the counter.

“Our supervisor wanted to send one of us to keep an eye on your volume level,” Spifey said with a laugh. “That’s the official reason, at least. I kind of just wanted to see what you guys were up to.”

Sapnap glanced back at Vurb. “What about the toe guy?”

“Vurb? He said he didn’t feel like walking all the way here.”

Really? Tapl had a hard time believing that considering who Vurb was as a person. One of them was lying.

Tapl glanced over to Vurb, who still stood behind the counter waiting for a student to check out a book.

Vurb caught his eyes and blew him a kiss.

Okay, it was definitely Vurb.

… Tapl owed him a favor. Several, actually. He made a note to pick up some of Vurb’s favorite snacks on the way home.

“Let’s just get this presentation over with,” Tapl sighed, biting back a smile.

And if his heart died at the way Spifey clapped his hands together eagerly and grinned, nobody had to know.

* * *

“Well, that was something,” Sapnap laughed as they walked to the school parking lot together.

And it was. Tapl couldn’t remember having that much fun presenting something so quietly throughout the entirety of his schooling years. Extemporaneous presentation, while something neither of the two were particularly awful at, was always a stressful experience.

But with Spifey as their sole audience?

The integrity of the presentation ceased to matter. The only goal on Tapl’s mind was to get Spifey to smile just a bit brighter, laugh just a bit more. And maybe that was what made it such a fun, rewarding presentation: poking fun at literary devices, imitating different voices, even rapping a part of the paragraph they had written on one of the slides (and prompting a quick rap battle between him and Sapnap that _Tapl_ had definitely won, thank you very much). There was something about Spifey’s presence that unlocked the silliest part of him and pulled it out to the open for the world to see. But somehow, he found he didn’t care for the world’s opinions anymore.

It was liberating, if he was being honest. Being able to present the silliest part of himself to someone—that was valuable.

“Yeah,” Tapl said softly. “That was.”

* * *

**JustVurb [5:04]** thanks for the snacks btw

 **JustVurb [5:04]** love ya muah

**TapL [5:09]** i regret everything

 **JustVurb [5:09]** why can zak say that to people but i cant

 **JustVurb [5:09]** what are these double standards

 **TapL [5:09]** just give me your twitter password

**JustVurb [5:10]** business as always huh?

 **JustVurb [5:10]** alright ill give you my account

 **JustVurb [5:10]** then im changing my password after three tweets

 **TapL [5:10]** if your passwords is toes, im never talking to you again

 **JustVurb [5:10]** lmao its not

 **JustVurb [5:10]** i mean it was a couple days ago but then vincent got pissed at me and forced me to change it so

 **JustVurb [5:10]** dont tweet anything too bad

**TapL [5:11]** i wont dw

 **TapL [5:11]** but can i just

 **TapL [5:11]** ask you something real quick?

 **JustVurb [5:11]** whats up?

 **TapL [5:11]** whyd you help me?

 **JustVurb [5:11]** ive already told you

 **JustVurb [5:11]** i want to see my friends happy

 **TapL [5:11]** yeah but how would that make george happy

**TapL [5:13]** ?

**TapL [5:16]** bruh

 **JustVurb [5:16]** i should be bruhing you rn

 **JustVurb [5:16]** listen harvey

 **JustVurb [5:16]** remember when i told you i heard that compliment you gave him about his smile?

 **TapL [5:16]** yeah?

 **JustVurb [5:16]** havent you noticed he smiles a lot more now?

* * *

**Vurb** _@JustVurb  
_Just got pummelled by @TapLHarV and lost the bet. He is able to tweet three times from my account. This is the first. Also I am trash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> zapl: that time on zelk and tapl's streams where zelk kept flirting with tapl and tapl responded with variations of i will kill you
> 
> kitkat and boba tea: that time on skeppy's stream when spifey was eating a banana sideways and tapl looked and began to also eat a banana sideways
> 
> vurb's tweet: https://twitter.com/JustVurb/status/1292229255175249920?s=20


	2. Local Furry Regrets His Choice of Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for all the support <3

"Okay, but answer the question. If you rebuilt a ship piece-by-piece with new wooden parts, is it still the same ship?"

"George, please, you took the brain cell yesterday and didn't give it back. I can't think about this at seven in the morning."

"Come on, Zelk, I believe in you!"

"I hate you, I know you don’t."

Tapl looked away from Spifey's following pout, reminding himself he was supposed to be cramming for his quiz, not getting his heart wrecked by one (1) pout.

Much of the usual Idots table wasn't present that morning before classes (but if he was being honest, having everyone at the table was rare. After all, Tapl had hopped around from table to table before his… current situation). This morning, Skeppy had probably been dragged off on some mission to find a specific teacher by Bad, while Vurb had fared far better with a shift at the library. Finn, meanwhile, was asleep on the table with his face down, apparently being present physically but not spiritually. The only conscious people at the table were Zelk, Spifey, and Tapl.

And wow. It wasn't like Tapl hadn't hung out with either of them one-on-one before, but he felt so much more vulnerable than when the larger group was present.

“Rude,” Spifey said. “At least Harvey’s still humoring me. Right, Harvey?”

He had been paying more attention to Spifey speaking than he did the actual words, but there was no way in hell he would let anyone at this table know that.

“Sure,” Tapl said, nodding his head. He sent a meaningful glance Zelk’s way when Zelk started giggling. _Shut up, Zelk. Please._

Thankfully, the message seemed to have gotten through, as Zelk looked back to his phone instead of saying anything.

“Then what do you think?” Spifey asked. He turned to face Tapl completely, tilting his head and gazing at him with such genuinely curious, interested eyes Tapl felt he might combust.

Oh, fuck, what was the original question?

Zelk's giggles bubbled into low laughter. Bastard.

He knew. He knew back when he had forced Tapl into sitting closer to Spifey at that movie theater those months ago, and he definitely knew now. But instead of being a little shit like always and laughing at his pain, he chirped, "Why don't you say what you're thinking, George? You know, since you're the one who cares about it so much."

Holy hell, that was smooth.

"Aside from the obvious sarcasm there, I'm not completely sure myself," Spifey said, tilting his head up just the slightest bit. He rested his chin on his palm. "I think there's a case to be made for both."

And there was certainly a case to be made for the sheer joy in Spifey's eyes as he spoke. This was nothing new; everyone knew he liked to think and liked to make others think. But now that Tapl was up close…

It took a few seconds for Tapl to realize Spifey was rambling now, and a couple more seconds for him to realize this was completely intentional on Zelk's part.

But honestly? He was okay with that.

Tapl settled into his seat and nodded along to what had somehow become Spifey's rant on complex geometric shapes, not quite understanding but happy to listen nonetheless.

* * *

Having Zelk in his first class was a mixed bag. On one hand, Zelk was more responsible in keeping up with schoolwork than the entire Idots group (something neither of the two had expected) and reminded him about upcoming due dates. It wasn't bad having a friend to mess around in class with either, no matter how much both of them denied it. On the other hand, sometimes shit like this happened.

"You wanna tell me whatcha learned from that whole rant this morning?" Zelk asked, only barely suppressing his snickers.

Tapl gave him a strained smile. "No, I don't, actually."

"Come on. You know you want to."

"I think I know what I want better than you do."

"Like how you totally weren't just staring at George instead of actually listening to what he was saying? Like how you were just _oh so_ interested in impossible riddles and shapes?"

What the fuck? If Tapl was a book, how was Zelk suddenly literate?

Well, that wasn't a fair judgement to make. Zelk had always been infuriatingly good at reading him, knowing what makes him tick and how to exploit it to cause as much chaos as possible. This subject was no exception.

"I think I rest my case," Zelk said, leaning back in his chair. He turned his gaze towards the board in front of the class. If he was done with the subject, Tapl would be, too.

Tapl sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. He figured pulling his hoodie over his head would've given away his frustration.

Was he that obvious about it? Having Vurb smirk at him at times was bearable, but with Zelk added into the mix? No. That would make it all so much worse.

"By the way…"

Tapl glanced to Zelk, whose eyes were still glued to the board as he recorded this week's due dates.

"If you wanna talk, I'm pretty much stuck in my physics class alone after school for an hour every day this week," Zelk said, his voice quieter, dare he say _gentler._

It was strange. Not bad, but strange. Bickering was easier than navigating whatever the hell this conversation was.

"Why're you staying that long?" Tapl asked.

"Zak and I need to redo our physics labs, and I'm like seventy percent sure he's gonna leave me as soon as Bad says anything to him."

"Damn. Which one of you fucked up the lab that hard?"

"Zak's my lab partner. Take a guess."

Tapl had to laugh at that. "Yeah, that's fair."

The two spent the rest of class annoying each other with eraser nibs and doodling on each others' papers at inconvenient times, as was the natural order of the world.

But his thoughts wouldn't leave him the fuck alone. Assholes.

* * *

What had he meant by that? Was it an opportunity to accept help or was it just another chance for Zelk to poke fun at him like he always did?

The buzzer next to the fencing strip lit up for the tenth time on Tommy’s side, indicating Tommy had won. And of course, he was quick to latch onto that.

Tapl sighed and leapt back to his original position, shaking his head as Tommy celebrated his victory and tore his mask off.

Ugh, he needed to stop thinking about this. He was letting Tommy’s ego get too big while Techno and Dream were away.

“Hell yeah! Who’s the tournament champ now, T-man?” Tommy paused. “Big T? Little T? Small T? T-Money?”

Tapl took his own mask off as well, shaking his hair into place. “Just call me Tapl. Or Harvey. Anything but those.”

“I’m just gonna call you T-Pain from now on.”

“I get what you’re referencing, but I am in a lot of pain, so I’ll take it.”

Tommy pursed his lips at that and furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you aging too quickly, Tapl? I know that’s a problem with a lot of the upperclassmen.”

God. He sounded so genuine, but everyone in this club knew Tommy was smart enough to know that wasn’t the case. Way too smart for his own good.

Tapl chuckled. “No, not that.” He swung his sword to the side, watching it slice through air. It definitely wasn’t aging; in fact, he felt his emotional maturity had regressed back to when he was a freshman like Tommy. Ugh. This situation shouldn't be this hard.

“Then what’s up, T-Pain?”

T-Pain? So Tommy really was going through with this.

Okay, he could deal with that later. Against his better judgement, Tapl sighed and asked, “What do you do when somebody offers you help you didn’t expect from them?”

There was a moment of silence as Tommy stopped. Great, he was making the underclassmen worry about him when he should be teaching them. He should just take it back and keep his head in the game—

“If it was something I was really struggling with, I’d just take it,” Tommy said with a shrug. “Like, you know. I don’t expect a lot of help from Techno, but when he does give me advice, I take it seriously.”

Ah, Techno. He hadn’t shown up for a while.

Was there really any difference in the role Techno and Zelk played in their respective situations? Both offered advice in a detached way, didn’t concern themselves too much with the outcome of that advice, and generally just wanted the best for their friends (even if it didn’t seem that way at times. Or most of the time, actually). They were both wildly different people, yet they had the same approach to offering advice. Maybe if following Techno’s advice had worked out so well for Tommy, Tapl should accept Zelk’s help?

Maybe. But for now, Tommy was speaking.

“Don’t you miss Techno sometimes?” Tommy said. He scoffed. “Of course, _I_ don’t miss Techno, but I’m quite concerned for you."

Tapl patted him on the shoulder. “We all miss Techno.”

“... When's he coming back?”

"Soon. Hang in there, Big-T.”

* * *

This was stupid. Why was he here? Why was he actually entertaining this?

Tapl sighed and leaned against the wall outside Zelk's physics classroom, wondering why he had thought this was a good idea.

A lot of their friendship was finding increasingly convoluted ways to annoy the shit out of each other. While fun, that dynamic destroyed any chance they had at a productive conversation. They had never had to worry about something like that over the years they had known each other until now.

But at the same time, the foundation of a friendship like that was knowing which buttons to push and how long, which lines were safe to cross and which ones weren't. The fact they had never had a significant enough argument to prompt any feeling other than mild dislike was a testament to how well they knew each other, even if most of their knowledge was unconscious. That and neither of the two were particularly hard people to read. That was probably at least somewhat a factor into this whole mess.

Tapl could call Zelk any number of insults. Untrustworthy was not one of them.

To be honest, he didn't know what exactly he was going to talk about once he stepped into that room. The chances of him chickening out were far higher than he would've liked to admit, and Zelk had made it clear he wouldn't force Tapl into a conversation he didn't want to have. But what was the downside of that? Even if they didn't have a productive conversation, they'd still have fun messing around like they always do.

Okay. There were no stakes here. This was safe—

"What're you doing?"

Tapl whipped his head around, only to see Zelk by the doorway holding a toy car.

"Dying," Tapl said. And that was true.

Zelk scoffed and rolled his eyes. "We're all dying, you aren't special. Wanna come in and actually help me?"

"Zak left already?"

"He didn't even show up. He texted me saying Bad needed his help for a club and just dipped."

"... Oh. I'll help then." Tapl walked into the room with Zelk, dropping his backpack near the messy workstation and taking in his surroundings.

There were too many unrelated things on the workstation top to count: the toy car Zelk had been holding earlier, a track, a fan, a roll of tape, a collection of weights, and so, _so_ many papers. At least it didn't look like a bomb had exploded on top of it. Despite Zelk being an agent of chaos, his organization skills were nothing to look down on.

"You do realize you can just tell Zak to stay and he'll probably stay, right?" Tapl said.

Zelk shrugged at that and set the smallest weight on the car. "I know, but why would I not want them to hang out? I can do the work in peace, and Zak gets to hang out with Bad. Win-win."

"Are you sure? Seems like a lot to handle."

"Yeah. If I need help, I just call Mega."

Oh, Mega, the kid who wore the green scarf and striped shirt? Tapl had only interacted with him a few times. While his experiences had been okay, Mega's interactions with his closer friends seemed… less than friendly.

"And he actually comes to help?" Tapl asked.

“Eh, it’s a gamble. Can you pass me the tape?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Zelk took the tape from Tapl’s hands and cut several pieces of tape off, sticking the ends to the edge of the table.

Then they worked in a rare silence.

Not that it was bad, though. Moments of peace between them were rare, but Tapl supposed neither of them had the energy to start a fight with the other. It was after school when neither of them had had a particularly good sleep the previous night (as evidenced by Skeppy’s documentation of Zelk’s fall into Minecraft events during what could only have been one hell of a chaotic sleepover. Meanwhile, Tapl had just been too occupied by his thoughts to sleep).

But that wasn’t why Zelk was staying silent, was it? He became more energetic with less sleep up to a certain point, and as far as Tapl knew, he hadn’t reached that point yet.

It was an opportunity to either enjoy the peace or wreck it. And after two trials of the experiment, Tapl was getting antsy.

“Did Vurb tell you anything?” Tapl asked quietly.

Zelk raised an eyebrow. “Vurb?”

“Yeah.”

“... Okay, I know our entire dynamic is hating each other, but you really went to _Vurb_ before me? Before anyone else?”

“In my defense, he cornered me first. I’d have rather gone to someone who didn’t try to barter for toe pics.”

“Oh my god, you’re calling it toe pics now. Vurb’s influenced you.”

“What else am I supposed to call it?”

“Pictures of toes. You know, like a normal, non-toe-fetishizing person.”

“I am not about to have this conversation with you.”

Then Zelk shot him a strange smile. “But don’t you feel so much closer now that we have?”

That wasn’t his usual teasing, _“haha, ZapL is so funny”_ smile. This was that wry smile he made after delivering a point he knew would win him the entire class debate, the smile he made when he knew he was right and there was nothing anyone could say against him. It happened more frequently than Tapl would’ve liked to admit.

Wait.

God damn it. Zelk was right again. And judging by his widening smile growing smugger by the second, he knew Tapl knew, too.

“You couldn’t have just told me?” Tapl sighed.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Zelk threw an arm around Tapl’s shoulders. “Why don’t we spend some more quality time together, _buddy?”_

“I’m gonna bite you.”

“Love bites, huh? Thought you only wanted to put some on George.”

“I will destroy you and everything you love.”

They fell into their usual pattern of bickering while completing the lab after that. Despite the chaos, they had collected the rest of the data within the hour block they were given and had cleaned up their area after talking through the analysis questions.

“Finally,” Zelk breathed, hauling his backpack over his shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re not my lab partner.”

Tapl scoffed at that. “I’m glad you’re not _mine._ How do you mess up a data table that badly?”

“Only because you wouldn’t stop poking me with my own pencil.”

"Whatever.” Tapl looked up at the clock. The day was still young, and he had already completed his homework for the day in class. They could burn some time. “You wanna get ice cream?”

Zelk’s face brightened in that way it always did right before he pulled a _voice_. “Oh em gee, as a date?”

“I could always just go alone.”

"No, wait, Harvey—"

* * *

And that was how the two had ended up sitting across from each other at an ice cream parlor, kicking each other under the table while Tapl kicked himself for letting himself be talked into what he was about to do.

"Dude, we've been sitting here for thirty minutes," Zelk sighed. "Just ask him out to, I don't know, ice cream or something."

Tapl raised an eyebrow at that. "Ice cream two days in a row? I'm not sure my mom would be happy about that."

"We're not talking about that right now. Just ask him to go _somewhere_ with just the two of you. It doesn't matter where."

"... I don't wanna text him first. Don't want to pressure him or anything."

"That's not even—you know what, I'm sick of this." Before Tapl could process the implications behind that sentence, Zelk reached forward and snatched the phone out of Tapl's hands.

Tapl froze.

Oh no. Oh no, no, no—

"Zelk," Tapl called as Zelk grinned at him. "I know we have our differences, but—"

Zelk turned the phone to himself and started typing.

Tapl's arm shot out for the phone, but Zelk turned enough for him to miss by a couple centimeters. His other arm shot out, only to reach the same problem. Damn short arms.

Finally, _finally,_ Zelk passed his phone back to him.

Tapl grabbed it and immediately scrolled to his latest conversation.

 **TapL [4:34]** heyyyyy babyyyy how u doing tonight ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)  
 **JustVurb [4:34]** ain't nothing much going on with me, how bout u babe ;) ;) ;)  
 **JustVurb [4:34]** give harvey his phone back btw zelk

"I can't believe you made me read this with my own two eyes," Tapl said, shaking his head as he navigated back to his chat with Spifey. "Is this seriously how you guys talk to each other?"

"You already hear what we say to each other in real life. I'm not sure why you're surprised."

"And… you didn't say anything weird to George, did you?"

"No, I did not," Zelk said. He leaned back against his chair. "I can't ask him out for you. But that did panic you a little, huh?"

Tapl glared, and Zelk smiled back. He needed to stop being right.

That being said, nothing Tapl said to Spifey could've been worse than what Zelk had sent to Vurb. And this was a platonic hangout, after all. Zelk wasn't cruel enough to force him to ask him out romantically. Not yet anyway.

Okay, maybe going out someplace would seem too much like a date. But… studying at the school library wouldn't be too bad one-on-one, would it? At least he'd have study materials to distract him from becoming too entranced.

Tapl stared at the empty message box, frowning.

"Dude," Zelk called

He looked up.

"Just do it. Now or never."

Tapl looked back down at his phone, typed out the message, then hit send before he had time to stop himself.

 **TapL [4:36]** hey u wanna study together after school in the library tomorrow?

The reply was almost immediate.

 **Spifey [4:36]** sure! ill meet you there 

The grin on Tapl's face must've been too large to ignore after that, but Zelk only offered him a knowing smile.

Smug bastard.

* * *

“There’s the simp!”

There wasn’t a moment in Tapl’s life he hated his friends more. He turned, only to see Zelk and Vurb grinning at him like idiots.

Most people had filtered out of the school by now, but a good crowd of stragglers were still in the midst of walking out of their classrooms or entering the library. Tapl sat at a table for four in the library, having pocketed his phone after seeing Zelk and Vurb (and having been too late to snag a table for two, but that wasn’t relevant).

He hadn’t seen Spifey yet. That was worrying. Still, he had two nerds to put in their place.

“Didn’t you just use my phone to simp over Vurb yesterday?” Tapl said, his arms crossed.

“No, what’re you talking about? I didn’t speak to you at all yesterday,” Zelk said. His mouth curled into a smug smirk that was becoming too familiar. “You waiting for your totally platonic hangout?”

Vurb joined in with an equally smug smile. “Bro-time in the library?”

“Studying with the boys?”

“‘Studying’ with one boy?”

“‘Studying’ with one boy who you look at very non-platonically?”

“Studying,” Tapl seethed, “with a friend.”

“Um, what did I just walk into?” came a fourth voice.

All three turned, only to see Spifey giving them a confused smile, his backpack slung over one shoulder and his hair mussed up just a bit.

Tapl’s heart jumped, and he couldn’t help the smile rising on his own face.

“Bullying Harvey,” Vurb chirped.

Whatever happiness he had felt immediately upon seeing Spifey shriveled up after Vurb spoke.

“I’m just not gonna ask what happened to prompt that, but you can bully him later,” Spifey said, taking a seat across Tapl and setting his bag down. He reached for Tapl’s hand across the table. “Harvey and I are gonna study now, though. See you later, okay?”

He was holding his hand. He was holding his hand!

Tapl only barely remembered to mutter out a goodbye to Zelk and Vurb before they turned to exit. Spifey’s hand was warm, soft, gentle, _so gentle_ Tapl’s hand immediately relaxed in his. All the stress of the day eased off his shoulders as soon as they touched. How could one person be so comforting?

But just as soon as the contact came, Spifey pulled his hand back to take a binder out of his backpack, and the contact disappeared.

Tapl tried to not look so disappointed at that.

* * *

**TapL [3:10]** DUDE HELP ME  
 **ZelktheElk [3:10]** uh ok take it down a notch there harv  
 **ZelktheElk [3:10]** shouldnt u be focusing on your date

Tapl glanced up the slightest bit, only to see Spifey humming to himself as he reviewed notes from a class. He looked back down at his phone before his face could color too red.

 **TapL [3:10]** PLEASE  
 **TapL [3:10]** hes HUMMING  
 **TapL [3:10]** why did i listen to you  
 **ZelkTheElk [3:10]** stop panicking and TALK  
 **ZelkTheElk [3:10]** vurbs laughing at u btw  
 _ZelkTheElk sent an attachment._

God damn it, Vurb really was laughing at him.

Tapl rolled his eyes and set his phone down. Silence followed.

“... Hey, Harvey.”

Tapl looked up, only to see Spifey balancing a stack of erasers and pens in the middle of the table.

Spifey shot him a brilliant, mischievous grin. “Guess what shape this is.”

Oh, fuck. It looked more like a disaster than a shape.

“Um…” Tapl squinted at it, but no recollection of a name came to mind. “I’m gonna assume it’s some impossible shape I don’t know the name of.”

“Actually, I don’t know the name of it, either. It’s not even a shape, I just made some random thing because I thought it would be funny.”

“Oh.”

There was a beat of silence before the two burst into a fit of snickers and giggles, trying and failing to keep their laughter quiet. But the staff who glanced over at their shenanigans only made the thing so much funnier and—

"You're so stupid," Tapl said, his laughter dying down. The second his eyes met Spifey's again, the two burst into more laughter.

Tapl's heart warmed.

What an idiot.

* * *

"Hey," Tapl called before he could think about it too much. He gulped when Spifey turned to look at him.

It was about time for them to head home. The two had packed up their things and were getting ready to leave the table, but…

Ugh. He didn't want to leave. 

Did Spifey feel the same? Did he dread every minute that went by, knowing their time would soon come to an end? Did he wish time would care to slow down just a bit?

The thought of all this being one-sided wrapped around Tapl's throat and clenched, choking his words back. Dread knotted in his stomach, but Spifey wouldn't stop looking at him with that warm, curious gaze, and Tapl felt he could die on the spot.

But he still needed to say something.

Tapl coughed and hugged his books closer to him. "Um… I really—I really enjoyed this."

Oh, god, the words were out now. They were out and ready to wreak havoc and make him regret every decision that brought him—

"I really liked this, too," Spifey said, shooting him a bright smile. "It's nice to just, you know, hang out with you alone without the other idiots making chaos." He paused, then the smile slipped off his face. "Wait, that sounded weird. I mean, we're both pretty chaotic ourselves but I'm just saying _they're_ more so and—I'm just making things worse for myself, aren't I?"

The knot unraveled and the thought died back to make room for the new hope sprouting in its place. Tapl laughed as he packed the rest of his belongings and tossed his backpack over his shoulder. "You're such an idiot, you know that?"

"You've said that twice now," Spifey said. Was that a light pink dusting his face? And a sheepish smile? "I'm starting to think maybe I am one."

"If it makes you feel better, you're smarter than Vurb."

"That does not make me feel better, thank you. Walk me to the parking lot, will you?"

The two began their walk towards the exit side-by-side as Spifey spoke about whatever test he had the next day, but there was still something missing.

Tapl glanced down at Spifey's hand just a couple inches away from his own. It was so close, _so close_ he could almost just move his wrist and—

No. He wasn't quite brave enough for that yet. But he could do something else.

Tapl swallowed all his self-doubt, then took hold of the loose fabric of the sleeve of Spifey's hoodie.

Immediately, Spifey stumbled over his words and landed flat into silence. He took a moment to glance down at Tapl, paused, then looked forward and continued speaking, his words slower and softer.

The sun shined down at them as they walked, but Tapl thought Spifey's smile was brighter.

* * *

"You done with the script yet?"

"Ask me that again."

"... You done with the script yet?"

A6d turned to glare to Tapl. 

Tapl only grinned back.

The room for the school news broadcast was larger than Tapl had expected it to be, but to be fair, Tapl didn't know what he was expecting in the first place. The two sat side-by-side in front of a computer with too many wires sticking out of it to be safe for a high school student. A word document was open on the screen, but there were so many tabs in the hotbar he wondered how the computer hadn't died on him yet. And they had been here for… two hours now?

"Dude, you need to hurry up and finish this script," Tapl said.

"It's a little hard making a script when nothing interesting happens in this school and the stuff you told me doesn't make the broadcast long enough."

"Oh. That's true." He paused. "Sapnap told me he finally got the beatboxing club up and running. You feel like giving them a shoutout?"

A6d stopped to think, then nodded. "Yeah, I can write a section about that. Anything else?"

Huh. There had to be more happening around the school, right? There were too many clubs for any moment to truly be stagnant. A6d was already covering the fencing tournament next month. There was something about the robotics club Bad had mentioned, but he couldn’t remember it off the top of his head. Oh, and didn’t Zelk mention the speech and debate club would have a tournament next—

“Boo!”

“Fuck!” Tapl screeched. He swung around, only to see Zelk dying of laughter beneath the doorway and Spifey standing a little ways behind him, chuckling.

Ah, fuck.

“Hey, Zelk,” A6d said without so much as a blink.

Zelk pouted at that. “I thought for sure that would scare you.”

“You don’t think a lot.”

“That’s true, I’ll give you that.”

“Why are _you_ here?” Tapl scoffed, fully intending to start a fight. It was getting a bit too quiet anyway, and maybe it would distract everyone from his prior scream.

Zelk responded accordingly with an eyeroll. Good to know he was always up for a fight. “I’m here because I need to do the voiceover for the weather report, and George came along with me because he’s an idiot. A6d, you have that ready, right?”

A6d responded with a nod, his eyes glued to the screen as he frantically typed at his keyboard.

“I came along because you dragged me here,” Spifey countered.

Something changed in Zelk’s smile, and his voice took on a mocking tone. “Oh, you are such a liar.”

“Haha.”

“Hahaha.”

“Ha.”

“Haha.”

They did this mocking fake laughter routine too commonly for it to be suspicious by itself, but something felt awfully amiss about it. Awfully forced.

Just before Tapl could speak up about it, A6d handed Zelk a sheet of paper and a pair of headphones. “Here’s the weather report. It’ll show up on the teleprompter too, but just in case you wanted to look over it before actually recording.”

Zelk took both, then looked up after reading one line of the paper. “Nah, I’m fine. We can record now.”

“Really? Okay.” He turned to Tapl and Spifey. “You two, just stay out of the camera’s line of sight and stay quiet. It’ll be over pretty quickly.”

Famous last words.

* * *

“Harvey, if you make another sound, I’m gonna throw you out the window,” Zelk seethed, his voice low.

That was an empty threat; there were no windows in the recording studio.

Tapl paused, waited for Zelk to let his guard down, then squeaked for what must’ve been the hundredth time in the past half hour.

Zelk slammed his hands on the table. He stood up and—holy shit, it was not an empty threat, Zelk was coming straight for him with clenched fists and a can-do attitude.

If there was one thing fencing had taught him to do, it was to be quick on his feet, and he couldn’t be more grateful for that than now. Tapl scrambled to the other side of the room, where he stood behind A6d and his setup of cameras.

“What the fuck is happening?” A6d said, to which Spifey was too busy laughing to answer.

“Come on, Zelk,” Tapl said carefully. “We can talk about this. You wouldn’t hurt A6d, would you?”

Zelk stepped to the side in an attempt to maneuver around A6d, but Tapl followed his movement in the opposite direction. “No, I would not hurt A6d. You, however, I would pummel to the ground.”

“Guys,” A6d called exasperatedly. “Can we just get this over with?”

“A6d, tell Harvey to shut up,” Zelk said.

Tapl spoke immediately after that. “A6d, tell Zelk to back up.”

A6d’s face fell. “Oh my god. What’s happening right now?”

“A6d! Zelk tried to pinch me!”

“What? Shut up, Harvey, I did not. A6d, you saw what happened.”

“A6d, he told me to shut up. He’s being a bully.”

“How am I the bully here? You’re the one—”

“Wait, am I the dad of this group?” A6d gasped, despair etched on every feature of his face. “No! That’s fucked up!”

The three burst into a squabble, everyone raising their voices to talk over each other.

But even as the room filled with noise, Tapl held onto the sound of Spifey’s quiet laughter in the corner.

* * *

**ZelkTheElk [8:41]** yall finished with ur date yet?

 **TapL [8:41]** its not a date you furry

 **TapL [8:41]** and yes the _hangout_ ended literally two days ago

 **ZelkTheElk [8:41]** lmao im not a furry but ok

**ZelkTheElk [8:42]** either way you owe me u simp

 **TapL [8:42]** what exactly do i owe you

 **ZelkTheElk [8:42]** something for making me sit through you and spifey flirting for an hour today

 **TapL [8:42]** oh come on it wasnt flirting

 **ZelkTheElk [8:42]** IT WAS

 **TapL [8:42]** give me literally one example

**ZelkTheElk [8:43]** oh my god

 **ZelkTheElk [8:43]** i hate you, you know that?

 **ZelkTheElk [8:43]** like actually hate you

 **TapL [8:43]** ??? why????

 **ZelkTheElk [8:43]** holy crap

 **ZelkTheElk [8:43]** harvey

**ZelkTheElk [8:44]** i just

 **TapL [8:44]** what

 **ZelkTheElk [8:44]** you remember

 **ZelkTheElk [8:44]** when i took your phone?

 **TapL [8:44]** yeah

 **TapL [8:44]** which i still hate u for btw

**ZelkTheElk [8:46]** dude you were texting each other throughout the entire day and late at night

 **ZelkTheElk [8:46]** idk what youre afraid of

* * *

**Zelk** _@ZelkTheElk  
_ hey _@TapLHarV_ wanna be a duo? we can be called ZapL  
  


| **Zelk** _@ZelkTheElk  
_ is that a yes?


	3. Local Diamond Block Not to be Trusted with Money Shooter

Much like the Idots passed around one brain cell, whoever radiated the most chaotic energy (which Tapl liked to call Chad energy, but it seemed nobody else had caught onto that yet) varied depending on the day. On Monday, it had been Vurb asking the top students in a dance class to teach him how to dance to “WAP”. The next day, Zelk had taken to bringing in paper towels and taking bites out of it behind Skeppy while he was distracted texting Bad. And now the chaotic energy had passed onto Skeppy. Circle of life.

“Why isn’t this money shooter working?” Skeppy asked, frowning as he inspected the black device in his hand.

Spifey made a face. “Zak, everything about you stresses me out so much.”

“I don’t see what you’re talking about.”

God, this group of friends was so fucked.

“Bro,” Tapl called. “We’re in school. Why’d you bring a toy with you?”

“If Tommy can have a vlog gun, I can have my money shooter.”

“Isn’t that just a money gun then?”

“Shut up. That sounds like I’m copying Tommy, and I’m _not_ copying some idiot freshman.”

Tapl rolled his eyes but did indeed shut up.

The morning table was, as always, a disaster. Vurb was gone again for who knew what reason this time; as far as Tapl knew, his shift at the library in the morning wasn’t due until next week. Zelk kept his head down, staring far too intently at the book in front of him for it not to be a purposeful attempt to block out the chaos around him. And Finn?

Finn huffed out a breath of laughter as he scrolled through his phone.

Finn just didn’t give a fuck. And man, did Tapl aspire to give as little fucks as he did.

Spifey spoke next, apparently having given up on the rubix cube in his hands (did everybody just decide to bring a toy to school today?). “Zak, did you even bring any money to put in there? I know you carry around a debit card, but I don’t think—”

“That’s right, you don’t think,” Skeppy said. “But neither do I, so I’ll test it.”

Tapl frowned.

Skeppy was smarter than people gave him credit for; last time Tapl had asked, Skeppy had the highest score in math and science (though given Zelk’s complaints, he doubted that was the same now). His real talent was with people: reading them, persuading them, finding out what made them tick. But what he had in book smarts and street smarts, he lacked (very much so) in common sense, especially when Bad wasn’t around to supervise him.

“Is that really a good idea?” Tapl asked, warily watching Skeppy take his debit card out of his wallet.

Skeppy shrugged and slid the card into the carved slot in the back. “I dunno. Let’s find out.”

Before the responsible side of anybody at the table could kick in, Skeppy pointed the gun forward and shot. 

Then Spifey yelped and held his left arm, and Tapl wished maybe he had stopped this in its tracks sooner.

“Oh, fuck,” Skeppy gasped, holding a hand over his mouth as laughter bubbled out. The chaotic energy that had surrounded him before had now dissipated. “I didn’t think that would actually work, I’m so sorry—”

“George, you okay?” Tapl set a hand on Spifey’s shoulder and just barely brushed his other hand above where Spifey gripped his own arm.

Spifey took his hand off his arm and slid the debit card back on the table. “Yeah, I’m fine. It just caught me off-guard is all.”

“Does it hurt?”

“I mean, maybe a little bit at most, but not really.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He chuckled and offered him a smile. “Harvey, it’s a plastic card, I’ll be okay. Thank you, though.”

… Fuck, he was right. It really was just a plastic card that happened to be shot at him a little bit too quickly. Worrying was stupid.

Heat rushed to Tapl’s face. He looked away and pulled his hoodie sleeves over his knuckles, wondering when the world would swallow him up already.

Then he felt a pair of eyes on him.

When Tapl finally gathered the courage to look up, his eyes immediately locked with Skeppy’s emotionless gaze.

That wasn’t good. That was never good.

Skeppy was someone who wore his heart on his sleeve. When he was happy, he cheered and laughed openly. When he was sad, he pouted and sighed until somebody asked him what was wrong. That was something Tapl admired most about Skeppy: he never hesitated to present his true self to the world.

But that made it all the scarier when there was no emotion being displayed. What was he thinking? What was he planning? He was always thinking about _something._

“Harvey?” Skeppy called.

Tapl offered him a weak smile back until Skeppy made an almost imperceptible gesture towards Spifey, who had returned to fiddling with a rubix cube. 

The smile slid off his face.

Oh no. This was not happening. Zelk and Vurb knowing about this stupid crush was enough for him. Throwing Skeppy into the mix would be too much. It was all just too much.

Tapl turned away.

Skeppy may be a stubborn fuck, but Tapl could be just as stubborn as him. Bring it on, fuckwad.

* * *

Nevermind, this was an awful stand-off, and Tapl regretted everything about it.

Turned out avoiding Skeppy's questions was an impossible feat. For one, they had most of their classes together and usually sat next to each other if they could. Two, neither were the type to care about getting caught with their phones in class, and both knew each other’s habit of scrolling through social media feeds during lectures. And if he was really being honest with himself, Tapl was starting to feel bad from all the puppy eyes Skeppy was giving him. Just a bit.

“Zak, it’s not gonna work,” Tapl hissed, keeping his eyes on his phone and pointedly ignoring the two hundred (two hundred? Holy shit, his phone battery was down fifty percent) notifications Skeppy had sent him in the span of one and a half classes.

Skeppy whined, tilting his head and probably weirding out the classmates who sat behind them. Then again, those classmates had undoubtedly seen worse.

“Zak. Don't look at me like that.”

“Harvey.”

“Zak.”

“Harveyyy.”

God, it was either another three classes of this throughout the day or relenting now and saving himself that suffering for the rest of the day. As much as he didn’t want Skeppy knowing on top of Zelk and Vurb already doing their best to tease him every day…

Well, Skeppy had been one of his closest friends since seventh grade, after they had met during an intense prank war that had resulted in both of them getting detention. Tapl had shrunk back then, expecting an argument and blame war that never came. Instead, Skeppy had laughed and walked him home after serving detention together. It was from that point on Skeppy had invited him to sit with him at lunch every day and offered to team up with him in PE, their only class together at the time.

Middle school was a rough time even for the best of people. Skeppy had been one of the only comforting consistencies during then, and if Tapl had had his way, he probably would've chosen to ask Skeppy for advice about this problem first anyway. He could trust him.

Tapl kicked Skeppy’s foot underneath the desk before Skeppy could whine again. “I’ll talk to you at the gym today.”

“... Promise?”

“Promise.”

Skeppy clapped his hands together and grinned, silently cheering to himself. He returned to his work with his feet swinging beneath his desk like a child.

Tapl shook his head but couldn’t keep the smile off his face.

Skeppy had always been such a positive influence on his life. Maybe this wouldn't be any different.

* * *

Fuck cardio, fuck fencing, fuck everything about his decision to go into a sport—

“Bro, you look like you’re gonna die.”

Tapl slammed on the one mile per hour button on the treadmill, gasping for air as the treadmill slowed to a crawl. He wiped the sweat off his neck with a towel before turning to face Skeppy, who stood next to the leg press machine. It took a while before he was finally able to choke out, “I _am_ gonna die.”

Skeppy snickered. “And that’s why I don’t do cardio.”

“That’s very obvious, Mister Twenty-Minute-Mile.”

“That was _one time.”_

It had, in fact, been four times, but Tapl wasn’t about to start an argument in the middle of the gym. Instead, he gulped down a swig of water, then looked around the gym.

For a school afternoon on a Wednesday, it was awfully empty. Skeppy seemed to be working on legs today. After leg presses and only thirty minutes into his workout, he would want to—

Deadlifts. Right.

“You need me to spot you?” Tapl asked, sipping at his water. Ugh, he felt bloated now. Gulping down half his water bottle in one move hadn't proved to be a good idea.

Skeppy huffed. "I don't _need_ you to spot me."

"Yeah, because that went so well last time." Then he paused, thinking as Skeppy led the two to a smith machine. Maybe thinking a bit too much. Maybe thinking a bit too much about one specific person. Ugh, shut up, thoughts. "Didn't you come here with George? Why would you get George to spot you? Doesn't he suck at weights?"

"Yeah, but _you_ wouldn't come with me and neither would Techno, so I just had to bring whoever was available." Skeppy set his water bottle down before raising an eyebrow at Tapl. “Are you thinking about George lifting weights now? Dude, I can’t break my foot again. Can you pay attention to me?”

What? What the fuck? How did he—

Tapl held back the cough, choking back the water in his mouth. When he felt safe enough to talk, he glared and said, “Dude, I wasn’t thinking about that. Stop smirking.”

Skeppy only laughed in response as he screwed the wheel weights into the right side of the bar.

Tapl rolled his eyes but started screwing the wheel weights into the left side of the bar.

They worked like that until Skeppy stopped him at fifty pounds. With that, Skeppy set his hands on the bar, then stopped and turned to Tapl.

“So,” Skeppy said, gripping the bar and pulling it out of its place. “You wanna tell me about George?”

“No, I don’t.”

Skeppy raised an eyebrow in the middle of a deadlift.

“... Okay, maybe.” Tapl leaned against the frame of the smith machine. After having two of these talks, he was getting more used to it than he would’ve liked to be. “I just don’t know what else I can say about it. I don’t even know how you found out about it. Did Vurb or Zelk tell you anything?”

Skeppy dropped the bar on the floor and turned to him with a gasp and disbelief in his eyes. “You fucking told _Vurb and Zelk_ before me? Harvey!”

“They noticed before you! It’s not my fault.” Tapl glanced back at the frowning staff members. “Um, you might not wanna drop the bar again. I don’t feel like getting kicked out today.”

“Oh. Whoops.” Skeppy picked up the bar. “Really, I noticed it a while back. I wasn’t gonna say anything in case I was wrong, but then, you know, that thing happened.”

“What thing?”

Skeppy rolled his eyes and began his set of deadlifts. It was only when he had finished his set and placed the bar back on the machine when Tapl had the sense to ask again, to which Skeppy turned to him with a huff and said, “Dude. Think about it. Remember this morning?”

Tapl hesitantly nodded.

“I literally shot him with my debit card. Dude, it’s a fucking money gun, nobody takes something like that so seriously.”

“So you admit it’s a money gun—”

“I admit nothing, fuck you,” Skeppy said. “Anyway, nobody else reacted that way except you. I was sorry because I’m the one who actually hit him with it, Finn didn’t care, Zelk laughed a little bit. I don’t know if you heard him though, it was pretty quiet."

Tapl raised an eyebrow at that. “What, so I can’t care for my friends? What if it genuinely hurt him?”

“Yeah, just like eating play dough would ‘genuinely hurt’ you.”

“Zak, if you eat enough play dough, it’s gonna hurt you.”

Skeppy paused at that, his mouth slowly curving into a grimace. “Well, I’ve got news for Vurb then. But that’s not what matters right now.”

“... What did Vurb do?”

“Take a bet he really shouldn’t have. Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I’m pretty sure Geo likes you back. You just need to hint more directly at it.”

Tapl paused to sit down on the wooden floors of the gym, taking a moment to hold his head and process the parkour this conversation had completed to get to this point.

Hints. What were they, middle schoolers? What kind of—Okay. Skeppy was just trying to help him. He probably shouldn’t derail the conversation that way.

“How would you know?” Tapl said once he got his bearings on the conversation. Vurb would be fine. Probably. And Skeppy’s money gun ( _not_ money shooter) was nowhere in sight. Skeppy had moved onto completing another set of deadlifts, so maybe he should just move the conversation along. “It’s not like he just straight up told you or anything.”

Skeppy burst into hysterical laughter right as he set the bar back on the machine, bending and clutching his stomach with his arms.

Weird.

Tapl blinked. “What’re you laughing at?”

“N-Nothing,” Skeppy said, his laughter fading away with a last round of giggles. “I just get the feeling it’s reciprocated.” His tone was awfully soft with that last sentence, and his gaze was warm, fond.

Right. Skeppy was his friend; he only wanted the best for Tapl. If he didn’t feel this a hundred percent with his heart, he wouldn’t have said anything. And he spent more time around Spifey than Tapl did. Shouldn’t his opinion count for something no matter how unlikely it seemed?

Yeah. He trusted Skeppy. With this and a whole list of other things.

“If I make an clown out of myself,” Tapl said slowly, “I’m blaming you.

Skeppy rolled his eyes and picked up the bar. “You do a pretty good job of that yourself anyway.”

“Your hands literally almost missed the bar when you were rolling your eyes.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

Dropping hints. Now, what the hell had Skeppy meant by that?

"Why do you look like such a nerd?"

Tapl rolled his eyes and turned to face the only person who would use that as an insult. "Techno, you literally have your full fencing gear on, and I just have gym clothes on. Who looks the nerdiest here?"

"Still you," Techno said, drawing his sword from his gear. He gave a sword a quick snap before turning his full attention to Tapl.

Classes had just ended for the day, and most students had either cleared out of the school or shacked into classrooms for clubs. A fencing strip had already been set up on the ground. It seemed Techno had chosen the most isolated (and most bug-filled, as Tapl noted upon seeing a cobweb against the wall) part of the school to practice in: the back corner next to the stairwell.

"What're you doing?" Tapl asked.

"State your intentions first."

"Um, I'm going to the gym with Zak."

"... I suppose that's a valid excuse, yes." Techno pulled his mask off his head, revealing a head of messy pink hair. "I'm waiting for Sensei to get here." Upon seeing Tapl's blank face, he clarified, "It's Fruit today. It was Fire last time."

Tapl raised an eyebrow but nodded. Techno probably knew what he was doing. "There's a fencing meet tomorrow, you know.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“Do you wanna know how everyone’s doing?”

Techno hummed and swung his sword in front of him again. If Tapl hadn’t learned how to translate Techno language, he would think Techno wasn’t interested in the slightest.

“Zak’s getting back into the hang of things,” Tapl said. “He came to the last fencing meeting and got wrecked by everyone in front of Bad. It was pretty great to see. I think he might be going on his own training arc after that.”

“Ah. Was anyone surprised at that outcome?”

“Not at all.”

Tapl gestured with his hands as he explained how everyone had fared throughout the meetings Techno hadn’t been present: Tubbo’s strength improving, Calvin and Nestor bullying each other during sprints, Deo walking into the clubroom and immediately leaving upon hearing something out-of-context. Throughout the whole conversation, Techno had responded with his own language of approving nods and chuckles. Then something changed.

“Tommy’s always complaining how you and Dream never come to practice anymore,” Tapl said. “But he’s getting a lot better. He even beat me in a match the other day and wouldn’t stop bragging about it for the rest of the meeting.”

Techno blinked at that. “He did?”

“Yeah.”

Then they fell silent, Tapl examining Techno as he set his sword down.

They had known each other for some time now since their first meeting at a middle school fencing tournament. Tapl liked to believe his sense of how people functioned contributed to their continuing friendship over the years: his sense of when to push Techno, when to fall back, when words of comfort were needed and when they were not (and they very often were not). And now, even as Techno stretched his arm, Tapl knew he was listening, waiting for him to say more but not quite overtly.

Hinting. He needed to hint.

“Kid really misses you, you know,” Tapl said quietly. “You’re like his older brother.”

Techno said nothing at that, seemingly deep in thought. And when Techno was thinking about something, there was no way to get his attention back from that.

Tapl said his goodbyes and walked away.

Hopefully even if Tapl couldn’t get his shit together through hints, maybe Techno could.

* * *

“Guys, Zelk just asked me what my type was.”

Tapl and Spifey exchanged a glance before looking over to Skeppy, who sat just a bit away from them.

Study hangouts at the library were always rough, especially this late into the semester and _especially_ for Skeppy. Between Tapl studying for a physics quiz, Spifey reviewing notes for his calculus class, and Skeppy panic-studying for a history exam, Tapl would say Skeppy had it the worst out of all of them. And when Skeppy panicked, he either buried himself in the mountain of work and didn’t come out for a year, or he ran away from his responsibilities and picked it up again at the last minute.

Today seemed to be the latter.

“Why?” Tapl asked.

“It’s Zelk.”

Ah. That was answer enough.

Spifey spoke next. “Zak, if you need help with studying, I can—”

“I wanna troll him, what should I say?” Skeppy asked, suddenly sitting up straighter than he had been for the past hour. His phone was in hand now, and his pencil was now left abandoned on the table.

Tapl hid his growing smirk behind a hand. “Just say you like nice people.”

“Nice people?”

“Yeah, people who are nice.”

Then Spifey snickered, and that’s when Tapl knew they had thought of the same person. “I agree with Harvey. Tell him you like people on the shorter side.”

Skeppy snorted and rolled his eyes, though his gaze remained on the phone screen in front of him. “That’s your type, not mine.”

“I—” Spifey coughed and redirected his stare towards the pencil in his hand. Was that pink tinting his face? What a weird reaction for someone who was taller than a good portion of the population. “I thought you were trolling him.”

“Yeah, that’s why I gotta make it more believable.”

“I hate you. Just say your type is Bad and move on.”

Skeppy slammed his phone face-down on the table (ouch, poor screen) and glared at Spifey as menacingly as he could, no easy feat for someone who was clearly trying not to laugh. “Nevermind, George isn’t allowed to make any suggestions. Harv?”

“Just say Bad and move on,” Tapl repeated.

“I’m no longer taking suggestions. You both suck.”

“Who are you gonna take suggestions from, Bad?”

“Shut up!” Skeppy huffed and picked up his phone. “I hate it when I only hang out with you two. You always team up to bully me.”

“You don’t make it all that hard, Zak,” Spifey said, to which Skeppy flicked an eraser bit at him before the three returned to silence.

Of course, having three loudmouths sitting at the same table, that silence wouldn’t last for long.

“What’s your type, Harv?” Skeppy asked. Before Tapl had the time to wonder what set of decisions had led him to this awful situation, he scrambled to add, “Not my question, by the way. Zelk wanted to know in case ZapL’s still up for consideration.”

Ugh. Zelk had stopped bringing that up a couple weeks ago, but Tapl supposed maybe he was putting too much faith in him.

Tapl snorted. “It is _not._ ”

“Okay, but what do you want me to tell him?”

Tapl stopped.

That look in Skeppy’s eyes was too earnest for his own good. And to be honest, Tapl wasn’t completely sure Zelk was the one who even asked.

Okay, well, he also couldn’t be certain Zelk _wasn’t_ the one who had asked given who he was as a person, but that wasn’t the point.

This was an opportunity. As stupid as Tapl thought Skeppy’s original suggestion of dropping hints was, even Tapl could tell that dancing around this subject wouldn’t result in anything besides disappointment. This was his chance to be honest with both himself and Spifey, and he’d be damned if he didn’t take it.

But it was embarrassing. Just a little bit.

“Um…” Tapl hazarded a glance in Spifey’s direction before stopping himself. That was too much. “I guess I like taller guys.”

Skeppy snorted at that. “Harvey, everyone’s taller than you.”

“Shut up, I’m the tallest man in the world.” He stopped to think after that, recalling Spifey’s features and trying to fight back the heat rushing to his face. “British accents are nice.”

“British accents, good taste.”

“Do Americans really like British accents?” came Spifey’s voice to the right of him.

Skeppy shrugged. “I mean, apparently Harvey does.”

There were no words to describe how much Tapl wanted to bury himself in a hole and take Skeppy down with him, but he continued down his list. “Soft voices are nice, too.”

“Tall, British accent, soft voice,” Spifey murmured beside him, his voice ironically, painfully soft.

Oh no. This was a mistake.

Tapl raised his palms to cup his face, trying not to think about the various exits in the library.

Then Skeppy nudged his foot underneath the table. When Tapl looked up, he shot him a warm smile.

Right. Skeppy was by his side.

Tapl smiled back, and then—

“Oh! You mean George!”

Both Tapl and Skeppy’s heads snapped to face him.

Skeppy spoke first between the two. “What the fuck?”

“You know, Dream and Sapnap’s friend,” Spifey said. He leaned back in his chair, but his shoulders were awfully tense. “Don’t be embarrassed about something like that, Harvey. You’re one of, like, ten people that have at least a tiny crush on George. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Holy shit.”

“Besides, you’re good friends with Sapnap, right? I reckon you’ve definitely got a shot.”

“Geo,” Skeppy called. “Oh my god. _Geo._ ”

Spifey picked up his phone, then frowned at a message before pocketing the phone. “Ugh, Mum wants me home now. Good luck with everything, okay?” He shot him a kind smile and patted him on the shoulder. “You’re amazing, Harvey. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Bye, guys!”

“See you,” Skeppy said.

And that was it. Game over.

Tapl melted into a puddle as soon as he heard the library doors shut behind Spifey. He set his arms on the table and buried his face in them, not quite knowing which emotion to pick out of the emotional cocktail in his head.

His face was on fire from the sheer warmth and genuineness Spifey had spoken to him with. But at the same time, he wanted to slam that same face against the table out of frustration. And then there was something else, sadness twinging in the back of his head.

Because that level of stupidity in someone who was usually so brilliant could only mean one thing.

“Well,” Skeppy sighed. “I guess George and Geo have a lot more in common than I thought. Too late to fall for the other George instead?”

Tapl sighed and lifted his head, running a hand through his hair. He gave Skeppy a smile. Hopefully at least one of them would cheer up after this. “Zak, I just think you’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong? About what?”

“I mean, I don’t know how much more obvious I could make it,” Tapl said. “I don’t even talk to the other George. I can’t remember talking to him once in my life. If he—If he doesn’t know by now, then frankly he probably just doesn’t want to think about it.”

Silence.Tapl swallowed the lump growing in his throat.

It felt so much more crushing saying it out loud. Of course, that had always been the predominant theory in his head, but there was something new, something raw about hearing the admission from his own mouth. And honestly he just wanted to curl up into his blankets and block out the world around him.

Skeppy frowned at that. “No… Harvey, no. Listen. He’s just really stupid, okay?”

“Zak, there’s no way he’s this stupid.”

“No, trust me, he’s stupid as hell. I… Harvey.” Skeppy sighed and leaned forward. “Listen to me. I’ll literally let Vurb suck my toes if he doesn’t like you back. Keep trying, keep your head up. I promise you it’ll work out.”

Skeppy was too kind to him. His optimism—Tapl wished he had that.

Tapl laughed at the proposed bet with Vurb and nudged him with his foot underneath the table. “Hey, it’s alright. I’ll be alright. It’s just a stupid crush anyway.”

“Seriously, he’s—”

“No, he’s smart as hell. Like…” Tapl snapped his fingers, trying to gather his wandering thoughts into a coherent sentence. But the rush of oncoming, previously undisturbed feelings came in like a wave and washed them further and further away, and the water was receding, the water was receding and receding and receding. “Do you see all the stuff he comes up with? All those weird shapes, all the pranks he does—it’s all so weird. So delightfully weird. He’s so creative and smart in his own way, I just…” 

He trailed off. He couldn’t hope to grasp even one percent of all the emotions threatening to burst through the seams of his heart with just words alone, and it was so, so intensely frustrating. The right words evaded him like fish in a pond darting between his hands, slipping through his fingers.

Skeppy chuckled at that. “Dude, you’re so in love.”

Love.

That word described it perfectly.

“... Love isn’t pogchamp at all,” Tapl said.

“Bro.”

“Very pogn’t. Not Chad.”

Skeppy laughed and moved to stretch his arms. “That’s true, I guess. Wanna get smoothies?”

Smoothies sounded nice. Any distraction from this sounded nice, but… 

“We have quizzes tomorrow,” Tapl said.

“Yeah, I know. Let’s go anyway.”

Man. Skeppy really was a positive influence even when he felt like shit, huh?

“Yeah,” Tapl said with a smile. “Let’s go.”

* * *

“Please tell me that’s all the wires.”

Bad chuckled as he put what was hopefully the last of the wire kits into a box. “Yup, that’s the last of ‘em.”

Tapl sighed. “Oh, thank goodness.”

Preparing for a robotics tournament was messy even with multiple volunteers who knew exactly where everything was supposed to go and which items went in which boxes. To someone who had never stepped inside the robotics room before, the clubroom looked like a box of robot parts and electronics had exploded (to which Bad had commented on the room being cleaner than usual with no indication of sarcasm in his voice, and Tapl wondered just what he went through every day as the robotics club captain). It was a miracle they had managed to get everything packed into boxes at the end of an hour.

Then again, Bad had promised free food on him in his urgent text to Tapl if Tapl chose to help out, so he supposed that may have contributed to the quickness.

Bad hummed as he walked around the clubroom, occasionally pausing to set a table just in place or shut down a computer. “Thanks for helping me out, by the way.”

“Oh, it’s no problem,” Tapl said. He jumped up to sit on top of a counter.

“All of the other officers in the club chose the wrong day to be busy. And Skeppy—that little muffin, he said he would help out but he didn’t even show up!” Bad huffed. “He did say he’d be busy talking some sense into someone, though. I guess that’s a bit more important than packing for some tournament he’s not even going to.”

Huh. Skeppy passing up an opportunity to hang out with Bad? That didn’t seem in-character at all.

He didn’t have too long to think about it before the man himself walked in through the door and knocked twice.

“Hey, Bad,” Skeppy called, clearly biting back a grin. “How’re you doing?”

Bad’s mouth quirked up into a smile before he twisted it back down into a glare. “Skeppy! I can’t believe you!”

“What? I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Well, I guess you are, but—”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Bad opened his mouth to respond, but somebody walked in after Skeppy before he could.

“Hi, sorry,” Spifey said with a sheepish smile. “Skeppy and I got kind of tangled up in something. Sorry for keeping him.”

Bad blinked, the anger dissipating almost immediately. “Oh, it’s fine, Spiffy. Harvey and I were just finishing up anyway.” He paused. “Is that a spider on your cheek?”

“Yes.”

“Where’d you find a spider?”

“We ran into one near that back staircase. Zak almost killed it like an idiot.”

Skeppy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Dude, it’s tiny as fuck, how was I supposed to—”

“Language!” Bad shouted. Skeppy made a face at that, and the two entered their daily (or hourly, depending on how much time they spent around each other) bickering session.

“Does the spider speak English?” Tapl asked. He had never been too fond of bugs, but he supposed the one on Spifey’s face right now got a free pass.

Spifey blinked, then answered with a smile that sent his heart fluttering.

 _No, stop that,_ Tapl thought to himself, keeping his face straight. _You have to move on._

“The Queen’s English, in fact,” Spifey said.

“Really? It’s from the UK?”

“Yeah.”

Tapl snickered, holding a hand in front of his mouth in a failed attempt to stifle it. “UK spiders be like—” He strained his throat to switch to the best British accent he could muster. Unfortunately, his best wasn’t good in the slightest. “ _‘Right, wot’s ol’ this then?’_ ”

Spifey laughed, but not before he raised a hand to his face so the spider had somewhere stable to retreat. “Harvey, that is _not_ what British English sounds like.”

“That’s what it sounds like to me.”

“American English is even worse. It’s like—god, how do you people even say it?” Spifey paused to think before putting on his worst, overenunciated American accent. “ _‘Right, what’s all this then?’_ ”

Tapl laughed. “Dude, that’s not American, that’s just you saying words.”

“Well, it sounds American to me, so it must be.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Harvey,” Bad called, seemingly done with his daily argument of the day. “Come on, I promised you free food, didn’t I?”

“Right. Let’s go, Bad, let’s leave these clowns behind,” Tapl said. He leapt off the counter as Skeppy and Spifey voiced their complaints.

Tapl smiled as he led the three out of the robotics clubroom.

Yeah. They could still function as friends as long as Tapl kept his feelings stamped down. He could grow to be content with that.

Tapl’s smile faltered.

Even if it hurt like hell.

* * *

**Skeppy [7:03]** bro youve been listening to ur sad lads playlist for two hours now u good?

**TapL [7:05]** no

 **Skeppy [7:05]** harvey

 **Skeppy [7:05]** come on

 **TapL [7:05]** sad lad hours only no entry allowed if ur not a sad lad

 **Skeppy [7:05]** is this about george?

**Skeppy [7:10]** oh u think ur so funny huh

 **TapL [7:10]** i think so

 **Skeppy [7:10]** yeah ur pretty funny

 **Skeppy [7:10]** but ur also literally the stupidest bitch ever

 **TapL [7:10]** ???

 **TapL [7:10]** i like him, he doesnt like me

 **TapL [7:10]** whats there not to get

**Skeppy [7:11]** oh my god

 **Skeppy [7:11]** harvey.

 **Skeppy [7:11]** you are

 **Skeppy [7:11]** so fucking stupid

 **TapL [7:11]** what

 **Skeppy [7:11]** i cant believe you didnt notice

 **Skeppy [7:11]** remember back at the library when geo’s mom called him?

 **TapL [7:11]** yeah?

**Skeppy [7:12]** harvey

 **Skeppy [7:12]** his phone didnt get a notification at all

* * *

**TapL** _@TapLHarV_  
hey _@Skeppy_ how many retweets to deliver me 100 burgers

| **Skeppy** _@Skeppy  
_this sounds expensive... 20,000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry its not that funny. next chapter will probably be better
> 
> money gun: from this stream https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swL0vG6UiMM
> 
> the spider (link to tapl's tweet but don't scroll up to see the full picture if you don't like spiders): https://twitter.com/TapLHarV/status/1314691725424689152?s=20
> 
> sad lads playlist: aptly named playlist on tapl's spotify profile https://open.spotify.com/user/6uxupw87n0bhy6lk8ijahqyni?si=wKkTqIdTRi6FUY0C7UZzeA


	4. Local E-Girl Gets Drunk and Makes it Everyone Else's Problem

"Change the song, Michael."

"Good morning to you, too, Burren."

"Michael. Change the fucking song."

Michael did not change the song and Burren subsequently lunged for his phone with all the strength a concussed person could have, but Tapl's mind was elsewhere.

Morning was strange without seeing the Idots around him. The most he had interacted with them today was sparing Zelk (who had somehow been the first to arrive to school) a wave and smile as he walked by into the library, where his current project group now sat around a circle table. But they still had the same chaotic energy the Idots had, maybe even more, so that wasn’t the issue. No, he knew he was missing someone in particular. That was just part of the process of moving on.

But god damn it hurt. If it didn't hurt, this would've been a breeze.

"Harvey?" Krinios called.

Tapl blinked, then met Krinios's concerned gaze.

"You good? You look like you would rather be anywhere else." Krinios's eyes flickered to watch Michael and Burren bicker over music. "I mean, I don't blame you, but…"

He blinked again before offering Krinios a smile. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just wondering why Burren's here when he has a concussion."

Wait. That was a thing.

“Wait, you’re right,” Krinios said with a frown. He turned to where Burren and Michael sat across from each other. “Burren, you have a concussion. Why're you here?"

Burren shrugged. "I feel better than yesterday, so…"

"Bro. Go home."

“It’s a group project! I don’t need to fail because Michael thought a concussion isn’t a good enough excuse for not showing up to class on the peer evaluation.”

Michael made a face at that, and the three delved into yet another argument.

Tapl sighed and picked up his vibrating phone. And of course, it was a message from someone he didn’t want a message from in the slightest. Though of all the Idots to receive a message from, he counted his blessings it was only Finn.

**F1NN5TER [7:21]** bro where are u  
**F1NN5TER [7:21]** i was gonna show off my cat ear headband today :(

Holy shit, he actually brought it to school. 

But was Tapl willing to step out of this stable circle of chaos into an unstable circus of chaos? Willing to experience pain all over again?

Tapl glanced back at his classmates, who had switched from arguing to jokingly flirting with each other sometime in the span of two minutes.

Yeah, nah.

**TapL [7:21]** i dont want to see it  
**F1NN5TER [7:21]** :(  
_ F1NN5TER sent an attachment. _

Huh. His usual seat was empty, not even a backpack placed on it. And he tried his best to ignore the person in the seat next to him.

**F1NN5TER [7:21]** not even for ur man geo? hes so sad :(

What the fuck.

“Oh, now Harvey looks like he’s got a fever,” Burren murmured. “Our entire team’s getting sick. Tell the teacher we can’t do the presentation.”

Tapl pointedly ignored him and typed back.

**TapL [7:22]** what  
**F1NN5TER [7:22]** :D  
**F1NN5TER [7:22]** oooh didnt expect that did you  
**F1NN5TER [7:22]** the ol one two  
**F1NN5TER [7:22]** im not completely stupid u know  
**TapL [7:22]** i actually hate you  
**TapL [7:22]** im not talking about this anymore  
**F1NN5TER [7:22]** HARVEY NO

Tapl set his phone face-down on the table and picked up his pencil, ignoring Finn blowing up his phone and tuning back into the discussion at hand.

But even then, his thoughts couldn’t help but wander.

* * *

Staying later at school than required was always a gamble of running into an idiot or not. For now though, Tapl’s team was down one person (not technically, but he’d be damned if he made the person with the concussion do all the work for this team) and he might as well cover for him.

But sitting in front of a computer in the library didn’t make him feel particularly safe, not with Vurb on student staff. Maybe if Spifey was here today. He tended to take Tapl's side whenever he and Vurb fought.

Actually, wasn’t Spifey supposed to be behind the counter, too? He wasn’t there when Vurb had given him the most ominous wave and smile of all time—

“Boo!”

Tapl rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. “Nice try, Vurb, but—wait, Finn?”

“Hey, buddy!” Finn said, pulling out the chair next to him and sitting down. He leaned forward with his elbow on the table and his chin resting on his palm. His eyes were bright, mischievous: almost never a good sign. “Whatcha doing here?”

Okay, well, Finn wasn’t as bad as Vurb even with everything that had happened this morning. Tapl allowed his shoulders to relax and answered, “Doing work for my group project. What’re  _ you _ doing here?”

“You know, just… hanging around.”

“Why do you always sound so suspicious?”

“Because I always am suspicious.”

Tapl chuckled at that and turned back to the document on the screen. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

They sat like that for a while, Tapl typing away while Finn scrolled through his phone. It was peaceful in the library for once. Distantly, he heard Vurb scanning barcodes and another library volunteer shelving books on a cart. A student spoke quietly into a phone, something along the lines of being in the library and having to shut up. But despite it all, something felt missing.

“Isn’t George supposed to be here?” Tapl asked.

“Yeah,” Finn said, setting his phone down to glance at his nails. “He’s out getting wrecked by Zelk in Uno right now.” He frowned. “I’m a little convinced Zelk cheats at Uno, to be honest. Stupid bitch beat me five times in a row this morning—”

“Wait, why would Geo miss his library shift for that?”

Finn blinked. “Oh, that. Zelk said George needed time to, um… think about stuff, I guess.”

Think about stuff? That seemed typical for Spifey. Why would he need the library shift off to think, though? He thought all the time.

He supposed the confusion was apparent on his face, because Finn continued talking after that. But something in the air had shifted.

“Listen,” Finn said softly. “I think you might need to think about some stuff, too. You might wanna talk through some of that stuff.”

Tapl offered him a strained smile, a silent plea to shut the fuck up. He found himself doing that a lot lately.

Finn only sighed at that like a disappointed mother. “Harvey, I noticed something was off between you and George for a while now. Something that’s really not to be embarrassed about. You know exactly what I’m talking about, so I’ll spare you the shot to your pride and not say it directly.”

Well, there was only one thing he could be talking about. How did people keep getting this correct?

“... Fuck,” Tapl laughed. He had gathered the full collection of lectures from the Idots now. That was more amusing than it should be at this moment. “Who told you? Vurb? Zelk? Zak?”

“Bro, you told literally everyone else before me? And you didn’t even tell the reasonable people? What the fuck, Harvey?”

“They’re the ones who asked!” Tapl shrunk back upon seeing Vurb give them the pained  _ "bro, shut the fuck up and make my job easier" _ look. He quieted his voice, a difficult feat considering who he and Finn were as people. “I didn’t even tell anyone on my own. Everyone just figured it out themselves somehow.”

Finn snorted and rolled his eyes. “It’s not like you make it very subtle, you know. There’s only so many times someone can awkwardly compliment another person before it gets obvious.”

“I don’t awkwardly compliment him.”

“You do awkwardly compliment him. You just don’t notice when he awkwardly compliments you back. You’re both a pair of awkward fucks. Anyway.” Finn picked up his phone. “If you feel like it, you can come by my house Friday night for a girls’ night in. We can pick out each others’ outfits and everything.”

“Girls’ night in?” Tapl asked.

“If Zak and Vurb can have one, we can have one, too.”

“No, I’m not questioning that, it’s just…” Tapl shook his head. Finn was exaggerating when he mentioned picking out outfits. Probably. “I’ll let you know, okay?”

Finn hummed at that, accepting his answer. He began scrolling through his phone in silence again.

“... Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Not until four.”

* * *

Finn’s offer stayed in his head longer than he’d like to admit.

Tapl bit his lip as he hauled his fencing gear down to their practice area.

The way Finn had phrased everything was intentionally vague, but the expectation of talking to him about his feelings was present. If he accepted that invitation, that subject would undoubtedly come up sooner or later. His only comfort was knowing Finn would probably back off with any weird shit if Tapl made it clear he wanted no part of it. He could trust Finn with that at least; did he want to open himself back up to someone?

Then Tapl looked up, only to see a familiar figure already dressed up for fencing. “Oh, Techno, you’re actually here.”

Techno paused, then slowly turned to him like he was a villain in the final arc of a superhero movie. “Yes. I have made my return. My training arc is not completed yet, but I realized I may benefit from the company of my guild members.”

“You can just say you missed us.”

“Shut up, nerd."

Then a third voice entered the fray: “Techno! Bloody hell, you’re actually here! You came back!”

A blur of yellow and orange rushed by before stopping directly next to Techno, revealing an overexcited Tommy beaming up at Techno.

Techno blinked. “Oh, hi, Tommy.”

“Techno, big man! Where have you been all this time? Are you fighting in the upcoming tournament? Have you sharpened your skills enough to beat the shitty green man?”

Eventually, all of Tommy’s questions blurred together into a jumble of words. Tapl found himself zoning out of the conversation as Techno answered all of Tommy’s questions, sometimes elaborating on them a bit when Tommy gave him the space to. From a distance, it looked almost indistinguishable from a little brother badgering an older brother who had just come back from college.

Heh. Brothers.

Despite his usual resting don’t-give-a-fuck face, Techno offered Tommy a tiny smile and nodded, encouraging him to keep speaking as Tommy moved onto updating him about what the club had been up to.

Then Techno glanced up at Tapl for just a moment, and Tapl glanced back.

Understanding. There was understanding in those eyes.

Just as quickly as the glance came, Techno’s gaze moved back to Tommy. And that was probably the most confirmation Tapl would get that Techno had listened to him and taken his words seriously, that Techno had taken the dive to trust Tapl and hadn’t regretted it.

Tapl turned away.

And that was all the confirmation he needed. He set his fencing equipment down to start suiting up.

But first…

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

**TapL [2:52]** hey ill come to the girls night out

The rest of that meet was the most chaotic of his life, but he wouldn’t prefer to have it any other way.

* * *

Maybe he hadn’t thought this all the way through, but he felt it was a bit too late considering he was standing on the steps of Finn’s house with a bag of fast food. That and he had already rung the doorbell and there were footsteps quickly approaching—

The door swung open, revealing a girl a head shorter than Finn standing in the doorway and a woman sitting on the couch in the living room.

Tapl blinked. "Oh, hey, Ruby."

"You know the rules, Harvey," Ruby said, holding her hands out.

Oh, hell. Tapl rolled his eyes but pulled a smaller bag out from the larger one and placed it in her hands.

"Thank you!" Ruby sang before scurrying away to what Tapl assumed was her room.

Tapl sighed but stepped into the house, waving a greeting towards Finn's mother and feeling his back straighten almost by itself.

"Hey, Harvey," Finn's mother greeted. "Jude's upstairs in his room. He did ask to have a couple drinks after dinner, so let me know if he thinks of doing anything stupid before he does them, okay?"

Oh, Drunk Finn. Their friend group frequently made fun of DrunkBoyHalo (who was really just a sleep-deprived Bad hopped up on energy drinks), but the true horror was in a drunk, giggly Finn who made way too many awful pickup lines for somebody to hear in the span of a couple hours.

Tapl nodded to that and thanked her before heading upstairs. He stopped in front of Finn's bedroom door, raising his hand to knock, but Finn opened the door before he could.

"Heyyy, Harveyyy," Finn giggled, leaning against the doorway like an asshole.

Jesus  _ crust. _ He was dressed as an e-girl with the cat ear band and everything.

Tapl raised an eyebrow. "Hi, Finn."

"Come in, come in," Finn said. He stepped out of the way and shut the door when Tapl walked into the room. "How ya doing, buddy?"

"I brought food."

"Wait, you brought—Harvey, I love you. Can you be my almost-boyfriend instead of George's?"

"If you're willing to actually love me for who I am, then I guess." Tapl paused, Finn's words replaying in his head. "Wait, what did you—"

"Eh, I guess not." Finn took the bag from Tapl and set it on his desk. "We can share that later. For now, though…"

He glanced over to where a tarp had been set up to cover the floor. Various makeup supplies were scattered over it.

This wasn’t going to be fun.

* * *

“Get that stick away from me.”

“It’s called eyeliner, Harvey. It’s new eyeliner! Come on, I have a steady hand.”

“Not when you’re drunk, you don’t.”

Finn pouted at that but capped the eyeliner and set it on the tarp.

The beginning of the night had been pleasant, actually—at least, as pleasant as a night with a tipsy friend could be. They had spent a couple hours watching a movie on Finn’s laptop on top of the tarp with pillows in hand, though if Tapl was being honest, Finn’s constant discussion during the movie rendered him unable to recall the plot or any of the characters. And it was frightening how well Finn pulled off crossdressing, but that was a thought for another day.

Now, though, Finn’s mischief levels had been cranked up to maximum level and Tapl would not be escaping this unscathed.

“Do you just not want to put on eyeliner?” Finn asked, his pout gone and replaced with genuine curiosity. “I do have a pretty steady hand. I’m only tipsy, not completely drunk. I have some consideration for my friends, you know.”

Tapl begged to differ, but that was a whole other argument. “I don’t trust you or me to get it on my eye correctly.”

Finn nodded understandingly. “Yeah, it’s kind of hard to make the leap to eye stuff. Do you want me to paint your nails instead?” Before Tapl could reiterate his point about Finn being drunk, he scrambled to add, “If you don’t like the end product, I have some nail polish remover.”

A rejection sat on the tip of Tapl’s tongue, but he held it.

There wasn’t anything wrong with letting his friend paint his nails, even if he was drunk. Tapl had always meant to get around to painting his nails anyway, and there was nail polish remover if he didn’t like the end product. What was the harm in it?

“Okay,” Tapl said quietly.

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“Holy shit.” Finn reached behind him before setting a collection of different colored nail polish out in front of him with the excitement of a kid in a candy store. Or rather, a Finn in front of a nail polish collection. “Choose a color. Or two. Or all of them.”

Why the hell did Finn have so much nail polish? Didn’t he use fake nails when he chose to crossdress?

Whatever. Tapl pointed at the black nail polish, and Finn picked it up and unscrewed the brush attached to the cap.

“Hold out your hands,” Finn said gently. “Or, uh, I guess it would be better to lay them flat on the tarp.”

Tapl followed his directions, watching as Finn set the first stroke of nail polish on his right pinky. The nail polish was cooler, gentler than expected. Every bit of tension left in his body evaporated upon watching the brush stroke repeatedly in the same direction. How was this so relaxing?

“How’ve you been recently? You know, with everything happening with you,” Finn asked.

“Um… do you want me to be honest?”

“Preferably so.”

“Like, you’re aware that if I answer honestly, you’re opening yourself up to a lot of ranting, right?”

“I know. I’ll be your mother for tonight. Pretty, elegant Mother Rose listening to her still-pretty-but-not-quite-as-pretty son Harvey.”

Tapl paused at that, biting back a laugh. A sigh came out in its stead. Finn was trying his best to be supportive in his own strange way. Tapl appreciated that. He’d go with the bit.

“I mean,” Tapl said, “I don’t really know what to tell you, Mom. Ugh, it feels so weird calling you that. Do I have to—"

"You're straying from the topic."

"Right. I just, um… Vurb, Zelk, and Skeppy were trying to help me out with a situation—”

“I know you’ve already told me this, but I feel like as your mother, I need to tell you how awful of a decision that was.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Seriously. The toe guy? The furry? And… well, whatever Zak is? You’re an idiot.”

“I’m aware.”

“Really. You went to the toe guy before—” Finn shook his head. “Okay, I won’t dwell on that. Tell me about what the situation was.”

Tapl scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You know what the situation was.”

“Finn knows. Mother Rose doesn’t.”

“You’re so—” He cut himself off with a sigh. This was far from the weirdest bit Finn had done throughout their friendship. What that said about their friendship, Tapl would ignore. “Okay, whatever. I, um… I…” He groaned and covered his increasingly red face with his unoccupied hand. “I liked George.”

Finn hummed at that like… like a mother would. Why was he so good at roleplaying this? “Liked as in past tense?”

“Well, no. I still like him. Like, a lot. I just…” Tapl sighed, his heart sinking as he recalled the events of last week. “I figured out he didn’t like me back, and I’m just trying to get over that. Don’t worry about me, though. I’ll get over it eventually.”

“How’re you so sure he doesn’t like you?”

“It sounds stupid now, but Zak asked me what my ideal person in a relationship was and described him to a T. As in, no reasonable person could miss that I was describing  _ him. _ But then he thought I liked the other George, and there’s no way he could miss that unless he wanted to miss it, right?”

Finn burst out laughing at that.

Tapl rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m stupid.”

“No, I’m not laughing at you,” Finn said. He dipped the brush into the polish bottle before resuming his painting. “He’s just very stupid. That’s the first thing Mother Rose will tell you: boys are stupid. I mean, do you see Bad and Zak?”

Tapl had to snort at that, a smile crawling onto his lips. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

“Yeah. So the first thing Mother Rose wants you to do is accept that Geo’s the stupidest motherfucker on the planet.”

Those words paired with that soft tone—Tapl couldn’t help but laugh.

“Bro, stop moving,” Finn whined. He resumed painting again when Tapl had finally stilled enough. “Yes, he’s stupid. It’s not that he rejected you—how could he if he had no clue what he was rejecting? Rather, he thinks you rejected him.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Yes, he does. Why do you think he skipped that library shift? It wasn’t just to skip or anything—we both know that’s more Vurb’s thing.”

“And your thing.”

Finn smiled at that. “And my thing. Which is why I know exactly why he skipped that library shift.”

“You told me it was to think, which doesn’t make sense, by the way. He thinks all the time.”

“Well, think about what he was thinking about.”

Tapl blinked blankly.

Finn sighed. “He was trying to distract himself from thinking of  _ you. _ And apparently it didn’t work.”

Well, that conclusion came out of nowhere. Tapl raised an eyebrow at that. It was the only action he could make with his brain as fried as it was now.

“Zelk told me about some of the things that happened during their hangout. Obviously not everything, but a good amount of things.” Finn paused to dip the brush in more polish. “And the one thing that struck out to me was—Harvey, did you notice he was flirting with you all throughout these months?”

Tapl blinked. “What?”

“Turns out he was quite upset you were missing all of  _ his _ hints and thought you just weren’t receptive to them. That’s what Zelk told me anyway. I think that description was just the final nail in the coffin.”

No. There’s no way.

“Well, it’s Zelk,” Tapl said.

“You mean Zelk, one of his best friends in the entire world? Yeah, it’s Zelk.”

Tapl fell silent.

What could he say to that? He had said it before and he would keep saying it to the end of time: the Idots’ sixth sense was each other. If Zelk and Finn and everyone else in their friend group truly believed something was true about Spifey, then it was probably correct.

But that went against everything he had thought for the past months. Spifey hadn’t ever shown any interest in him beyond as a friend, right? Tapl surely would’ve caught onto…

Ah, fuck.

How had he missed that? How had he missed everything his friends had tried not-so-subtly hinting at him? Vurb telling him about Spifey smiling more after Tapl complimented him on his smile, Zelk pointing out that they texted constantly, Skeppy hinting that Spifey hadn’t left their study group for the reason he said he did—all of that had flown right over his head.

Finn offered him an oddly comforting smile. “You getting it yet?”

“I, um…” Tapl laughed, but his heart was pounding, his skin felt hot. He didn’t know if he wanted to run out around the world or hide under the blankets. “I-I don’t know. I know logically you’re probably right, but it doesn’t feel right to me.”

“Why does it not feel right?”

Tapl bit his lip, staring down at his nails as he allowed the torrent of emotions to finally destroy all his walls. “I’m… I’m just not really all that much, you know? Like, I like myself. I think I’m a good person. There’s just nothing really special about me compared to him, you know?”

“No, I don’t know. You wanna tell me about it?”

“He’s just so—” Tapl cut himself off with a giggle, feeling himself melt already. But that was fine with him: his only witness was himself and Finn, who he was certain he could take on in a fight if he ever broke secrecy. “You’ve heard the way his voice changes when he gets flustered, like, I guess quicker and more slurred. Sometimes his hair gets too long so he has to literally hold it in place while writing. He has this one smile he saves for trolling people and pulling pranks. And then his laugh when he realizes somebody's caught onto what he's planning—"

"Harvey."

Tapl stopped.

Finn had capped the nail polish and leveled a gentle smile at him. “Harvey, my son. You do realize that’s the sort of thing people notice about you, right?”

“No.”

“Well, it’s true. It was never a smarts issue, was it? It was always a confidence issue. You’re smart enough to catch onto everything; you just never let yourself think you could be loved so deeply by someone." He shook his head. "That entire ordeal must’ve destroyed your confidence, huh? My poor child.”

Loved. He knew he was loved by his friends, his family. Loved deeply, romantically on the other hand? Why would anyone do that?

Every muscle in Tapl’s body tensed as Finn continued.

“And I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Haven’t you ever noticed that you’re usually the one to start laughing first when something funny happens? Your voice goes deeper when you’re tired, you make this cute little annoyed face when your hair flops over, you have a vocabulary that’s unique to you and only you. I’ve never heard someone call something Chad so many times, and you use lad more than any of us Brits.” 

Wow. What could someone even say to that? This was too much emotion.

Tapl felt his mouth melt into a genuine smile as his heart warmed with it. “Oh my god, shut up, dude.”

“Hey, it’s not even from me. It’s just stuff Geo won’t shut the fuck up about.” Then Finn grinned and reached out to—okay, now he was squishing Tapl’s cheeks. Great. “But personally, Mother Rose thinks you have the most adorable squishy face!”

Tapl rolled his eyes, something that probably didn’t have as large of an effect as he wanted given his face was currently being squished. Patronizing bastard. “I hate you.”

Finn huffed but took his hands off his cheeks to paint the last two nails. “Wow, I see how it is. You only like that stuff coming from George, huh? You children grow up too fast.”

“I don’t—”

“No, no, you don’t have to lie to me. I knew what motherhood would be like coming into this.” Finn stopped to laugh. “Disregarding all the roleplay stuff, you’re very special to us, Harvey. All of us. Even if you’re a little shit sometimes, there’s a lot of stuff about you we see, and it makes me a little sad to hear you might not see that same stuff.”

Everything Finn had listed off—that was really him?

Finn continued despite it all in a soft, gentle, maybe even maternal tone. “You’re kind, you’re funny, you’re every good thing that comes with being yourself. Really, you’re amazing, Harvey. Don’t forget that.” 

He sounded genuine. Goodness, he sounded so genuine.

Finn grinned and capped the nail polish bottle. “Done. What do you think?”

Tapl smiled as the nail polish glittered underneath the light in the room, his heart threatening to burst and something warm building behind his eyes.

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” Tapl said quietly. He held his nails up with a new confidence blooming in his chest. “I love it.”

* * *

It was way too early on a Monday morning when Tapl’s heart almost quit on the job.

“Your nails look nice,” Spifey said with a smile. “Did you do them yourself?”

Everyone at the table—Skeppy, Vurb, Zelk, Finn—looked up.

Idiots. Scheming idiots. But at least Tapl knew what they were thinking now. And maybe their thoughts weren’t as unfounded as he thought they were.

Tapl beamed at him. “Thank you. Finn did them, actually.”

“We got matching sets!” Finn chirped, holding up his own set of black nail polish. “Except they kinda look like shit because it was Harvey’s first time painting nails.”

Skeppy snorted at that upon seeing Tapl pout. “Bro, just remove it if you don’t like—”

“Fuck you, I’m never taking this off. This was a gift from my son.”

“... Your son?”

“Yes.”

Oh, so this was a bit they were bringing to the rest of the friend group. Okay. Tapl could go with that.

Tapl bit back a chuckle upon seeing a wave of confused expressions go around the table. “Yeah, Finn—”

“Rose.”

“—Rose is my mom. You guys didn’t know?”

Skeppy furrowed his eyebrows. “Then who’s the dad?”

Both Vurb and Zelk’s faces lit up, and suddenly Tapl wished they hadn’t introduced this bit to the rest of the friend group.

Finn paused, surveying his nails. “Hm. Probably A6d.”

“Oh, thank god,” Tapl sighed as Vurb and Zelk’s joy deflated.

That was probably the safest answer. Vurb would’ve immediately segued the conversation into a toe joke, Zelk would’ve immediately segued the conversation into a ZapL joke, and Skeppy would’ve disowned him on the spot. Why were his friends so predictable?

“Question for Rose,” Vurb said, raising his hand after his disappointment faded. “Does that mean Geo’s your son-in-law?”

Nevermind, apparently Vurb was an agent of pure, random chaos.

Finn, Skeppy, and Zelk all burst into a round of laughter. And even Spifey chuckled along, holding his hand over his mouth in a botched attempt to hide his laughter.

Tapl hated them. He  _ hated _ them.

“Geo, my boy,” Finn gasped in that dramatic bitch way he always managed to pull off. “Do you have news to tell me?”

“No, I don’t,” was what Spifey tried to say through the giggles bubbling out of his lips, but Finn gasping even more dramatically rendered him incapable of speaking.

Ah, hell. There was no point denying anything anymore.

Tapl laughed along, only just managing to catch a hint of pink on Spifey’s face before he covered it with a hand.

* * *

**Michaelmcchill [3:22]** so yall hear our presentation got moved back a week?  
**Michaelmcchill [3:22]** bc apparently it did but nobody thought to tell us  
**KingBurren [3:22]** WHAT  
_ Michaelmcchill sent an attachment.  
_ **KingBurren [3:23]** POG  
**Krinios [3:23]** POGCHAMP  
**TapL [3:23]** CHAD MOVE CHAD MOVE

* * *

“So I’ve been playing a lot of Rocket League lately.”

“Mhm.”

“It’s pretty hard, actually, I didn’t think it’d be this challenging.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Tapl bit back a laugh at that response.

Techno’s return to the club didn’t mean he was giving up on training by himself. It was Tuesday, a couple days before the club would officially meet, when Techno had sent him a text early in the morning to bring his fencing gear for extra training after school. And of course, it being early in the morning and Tapl being the way he was, he had completely forgotten to grab his fencing gear before coming to school.

So now he was stuck with an oversized helmet and shitty sword the clubroom had left over while practicing parry drills after school. Great. At least their usual practice space in the halls was empty.

“I started watching some of the top league players,” Techno said, “and oh my god, they’re so good. They’re amazing. I don’t know how they do it.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s like watching magic. I need to play it more,” Tapl paused to raise his arm. “Techno, watch your parry five. You’re putting your arm up too high.”

Techno nodded. He moved to resume drills before setting his sword down by his side. “People coming."

"At ease," Tapl joked.

"This isn't the military."

"You named this club Skywars. I think we're pretty close to it."

"... Harvey?" came a familiar voice.

Tapl turned and took his mask off, only to see Spifey just a little ways from him.

Oh. There went his heart.

"Hey, Geo," Tapl said. He didn’t fight the smile rising to his lips or the excitement swelling in his chest. Why would he need to? "What're you doing here?"

Spifey chuckled at that despite there being nothing to laugh at. Maybe his friends’ words had some merit behind them after all. "I had to stay behind to finish up an assignment. Vurb kind of abandoned me."

"Dude, Vurb's the worst person to work with."

"Yeah, I'm realizing that now. And I just wanted to ask, um…" Spifey raised a hand and ran it through his hair, his gaze falling on Techno. "Actually, now's probably not the best time to ask. Can I talk to you later?"

Tapl raised an eyebrow. "I mean, you can always talk to me."

"Right. I'll talk to you later, okay? And um, sorry for the interruption, Techno."

Techno looked him up and down cautiously, as he often did when an acquaintance approached. Then something new happened when his gaze darted between Tapl and Spifey.

Tapl didn’t trust that. Not one bit.

There was an uncomfortable pause before Techno finally opened his mouth and said, “You’re not that tall.”

Tapl sighed.

Good lord.

Spifey blinked, possibly the most confused Tapl had ever seen him before. And possibly the most intimidated, considering it was Techno he was speaking to. "I… Yeah, I'm not that tall, I suppose. I'll take my leave now."

Tapl waved a goodbye before Spifey walked away and wondered what the fuck had just unfolded in front of him. He turned to Techno and asked, "Why were you trying to assert dominance on some guy who doesn’t play a single sport?”

“Why would I not?”

“Fair point, but why?”

Techno snorted and held his sword up. “Love makes you weak, Tapl. We both know this. This is why I had my hypothalamus surgically removed two centuries ago.”

Tapl blinked.

Had… Had that been Techno’s form of a shovel talk?

“Put your mask back on,” Techno said. “I wanna start doing parry-riposte drills now.”

That had definitely been some sort of threat, hadn’t it? Techno was pretty tall himself; there was a comparison somewhere in there.

“I guess we can transition to actual fighting after that. Only headshots would count since you didn't bring your suit, though.”

Tapl grinned. “Oh my god. That was totally the shovel talk in one sentence, wasn’t it?”

There was a moment when Techno froze that went as quickly as it came. That was enough confirmation for him, even after Techno firmly said, “No.”

“Techno! You care about me!”

“Die. Put your mask back on so I can kill you.”

“Hm, I don’t think I will.”

The rest of their practice was spent arguing while Techno smacked up Tapl’s mask with a sword. It was more productive than it sounded.

But that shovel talk. Techno wasn’t the best at reading social interactions between people, both by nature and because he didn’t care to. If even Techno could see it, if he felt it was necessary to deliver a subtle threat instead of just speaking to Tapl about it after Spifey left…

Tapl smiled.

Goodness, he was in love. And maybe it was all reciprocated.

“Stop smiling,” Techno said, the beginning of a chuckle in his voice. “You’re gonna make me laugh.”

Tapl shot him a grin, and Techno burst out laughing.

* * *

**Mom [9:44]** hows the nail polish holding up?

**TapL [9:44]** holy shit i forgot i changed ur name to mom and almost panicked

**TapL [9:44]** its getting a lil chipped from fencing

**Mom [9:44]** im…. im mom on your phone???

**Mom [9:44]** im so lucky to have u as my son 😢

**TapL [9:45]** ok nevermind ur back to normal

**F1NN5TER [9:45]** fuck u

**F1NN5TER [9:45]** just take away my only source of happiness will u

**TapL [9:45]** roleplaying as mom and son with your friend?

**F1NN5TER [9:45]** yes

**F1NN5TER [9:45]** anyway u can have the rest of the bottle, i dont use black a lot anyway

**TapL [9:46]** oh shit thank you

**F1NN5TER [9:45]** no problem

**F1NN5TER [9:46]** you feeling better about the whole situation?

**F1NN5TER [9:49]** harv?

**TapL [9:49]** yeah i am

**TapL [9:49]** im gonna ask him out soon

**TapL [9:49]** im just

**TapL [9:49]** kind of jittery

**F1NN5TER [9:50]** well thats completely normal isnt it

**F1NN5TER [9:50]** youve got this

**F1NN5TER [9:50]** mother rose believes in you!!!!

**TapL [9:50]** and finn doesnt?

**F1NN5TER [9:50]** he does, just to a lesser extent

* * *

**Harvey** _@TapLHarV  
_ just painted my nails. how’d i do ?

|  **F1NN5TER** _ @F1NN5TER  
_ acceptable

|  **Harvey** _ @TapLHarV  
_ Hmmm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> michael, burren, krinios, tapl: mcc10's yellow yaks team. i just thought they had a really fun dynamic
> 
> rocket league conversation: part of an actual conversation from this stream https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PR7Z-h4hscg
> 
> nail polish tweet: https://twitter.com/TapLHarV/status/1313905990438330368?s=20


	5. Local Apple Man Finally Fesses Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 32 pages. 9.8k words. im so tired  
> thank you to everyone who encouraged me on tumblr

Walking into school early in the morning and seeing Vurb and Spifey in Skeppy and Bad cosplay wasn't how he pictured his morning going.

(Well, cosplay was a strong word for what was essentially a pair of name tags and some color-coordinated clothes. But it was certainly more effort than Tapl had seen either of the two putting into anything else.)

“What’d I just walk into?” Tapl said, hesitantly approaching the table. Was it too late to hang out with a different friend group? Was it too late to get more than the three hours of sleep he had gotten the previous night?

Vurb turned to him with a bright smile that Tapl didn’t trust. He had a plan, and historical evidence showed that Tapl would likely not be onboard with that plan. “Oh, Harvey, you’re right on time. You know how Zak usually comes in right about now?”

“... Yes?”

“I have a plan. When Zak comes in, me and George are gonna turn around and make sure he sees who we are. Then I’ll make out with George—”

“Shut up!” Tapl huffed as both Vurb and Spifey burst out laughing. “Just shut up!”

This was too much. There was a chance Vurb’s only intention coming up with this plan was to tease Skeppy about his close relationship with Bad; he had cooked up more ridiculous plans in the past, after all. But Vurb was smart, and Vurb was chaotic. It was likely he had created this plan and geared it towards gently teasing Tapl as a bonus. He knew what he was doing.

Bastard. Absolute bastard clown man.

“I don’t think those were our original terms of agreement,” Spifey laughed.

Vurb grinned. “You’re right. There’s only one person you’d willingly make out with here, and it’s not me.”

Huh. That sounded far too serious for a joke from Vurb.

Spifey moved to shove Vurb’s shoulder, but Skeppy walked in before they could begin their squabble.

“Guys,” Skeppy said, his voice monotone. “What the fuck?”

Vurb’s eyes lit up, and he turned to Spifey with a grin. “Hey, what’s up, Bad?”

Spifey chuckled when Vurb threw an arm over his shoulders, but he bit his lip to stop himself from bursting into more laughter immediately. “Hi, Skeppy. Just thinking about you as always.”

“Aw, Bad, you’re so cute.”

“Why, thank you Skeppy, I think you’re cute as well. The most…” Spifey laughed again. “The most adorable little muffin in the universe.”

Goodness. Tapl was way too tired for this level of fuckery this early in the morning.

But there was a certain hesitation, a certain awkwardness in Spifey’s voice compared to the complete confidence in Vurb’s that made Tapl burst out laughing. And as soon as Tapl unleashed his laughter, Spifey laughed along with him, ditching whatever roleplaying he and Vurb were doing.

Skeppy laughed, but the look in his eyes was a dangerous (and unfortunately familiar) one that didn’t quite line up with his laughter.

And that was the morning gone to chaos. Tapl didn’t know why he had expected anything else.

While Vurb and Skeppy squabbled amongst themselves, Tapl and Spifey sat to the side. How Spifey escaped Skeppy’s ire, he wasn’t sure.

“You have any clue what’s going on?” Tapl asked, watching as Zelk walked in and was immediately dragged kicking and screaming into the argument. He only laughed when Zelk sent him a desperate glance for help. Betrayal would never get old.

Spifey shrugged. “Does anyone?”

“Truuue,” Tapl sang. Then he paused to evaluate his options as Bad walked into school, only to be scooped into the argument as well.

His first and safest option was to watch the chaos unfold with Spifey by his side. But that was also the most spineless option, and last time he checked, the spine was an integral part of his skeleton. The nuclear option would be to ask him out right then and there, but even Tapl had more tact than to ask someone on a date while their other friends were two seconds away from a fistfight. But the third option was…

Well. He supposed the third option wasn’t too bad. And it was something he had wanted to do for some time anyway.

“I’m tired,” Tapl yawned. But even with a sleep-deprived body, his heart jumped as he rested his head against Spifey’s shoulder.

Then his heart burst when Spifey dipped his shoulder down just low enough for Tapl’s head to fit snugly into the crook of his neck and wrapped an arm around Tapl’s shoulders. “Here, you can sleep on me. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to head to class.”

While Tapl wouldn’t normally trust any of his friends to wake him up on time, there was something kinder in the way Spifey said that, something more genuine. The trust needed to fall asleep and let all his guards down around another person was hard to earn from Tapl (especially given his friends were all mischievous bastards), yet Spifey, somebody who admittedly shared that mischievous bastard title with the rest of their friends, had managed to knock down all his doubts.

Yeah. Tapl trusted him.

So he shut his eyes and dozed off, lulled to sleep by the warmth of Spifey’s body and the dull drivel of his friends arguing in the background.

Later when Spifey woke him up right on time, Tapl smiled.

* * *

As it turned out, Krinios had volunteered their group to be the first one up “to get it over with.” Tapl would admit he could get onboard with that logic and didn’t have a problem with public speaking. Their teacher throwing them a curveball was much less appreciated.

“Wait, so the next-door class is coming in?” Michael asked, his fingers freezing above the keyboard of the laptop. “Right now?”

His question was answered when the door to their classroom opened and a sea of students came pouring in. And that sea of students included one person he did not want to see right now…

“Oh my goodness, Zelk is here,” Tapl murmured. He moved to stand behind Burren, to which Burren chuckled at him. “Somebody fucking kill me.”

Burren patted him on the shoulder. “Is that the one pointing and laughing at you?”

“Probably.”

“Well, my concussion killed me pretty recently. You want one, too?”

Tapl pointed to the side of his head, but before Burren could move, Michael cleared his throat and the room fell silent.

He stood up as straight as he could in front of the blinding projector, shifting a bit to the right to avoid casting his shadow onto the screen. They were lucky their classroom was a big room; otherwise, all the students, including them, would be cramped to hell and back. 

Ugh. No distracting himself from this. Michael had already begun introducing their group.

Tapl offered a smile to the audience, pointedly ignoring Zelk giving him a mocking smile in return.

* * *

“So, how’d your presentation go?”

Tapl stayed silent while Zelk snickered, and Tapl wondered why he had agreed to this stupid hangout in the first place.

Oh, right. Because Zelk had asked him if he’d like to hang out and had “casually” mentioned Spifey would be joining them. Tapl had accepted like a simp, and here he was now, frowning at his bubble tea and sitting in a booth for four while Zelk giggled and Spifey stared in concern.

“It went okay,” Tapl said quietly.

“Oh, it went _great,_ ” Zelk snickered. He laughed when Tapl kicked him underneath the table.

Granted, the presentation hadn’t gone horribly. Their introduction had gone off without a hitch, they passed speaking roles off effortlessly, and though there had been a couple stumbles and pauses, nobody had forgotten their lines. Everyone in his group had been competent and well-prepared for this presentation. No, what had happened was—

“Harvey tripped when his group finished.”

Tapl pouted.

Spifey laughed along with Zelk. God damn it, he could feel his face heating up. Zelk was never allowed near him again.

Then Spifey gently took his hand, and everything was okay.

“You’ve always been good at presentations,” Spifey said, offering him a kind smile and lacing their fingers together on the table. “I’m sure whatever blunders you’ve made were forgiven.”

Oh, no, his face was certainly red now. Tapl let out a nervous laugh, trying not to think about how warm his hand was. “Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better, actually. Is this, um…” He glanced back down at their connected hands. “Is this okay with you?”

Spifey tilted his head. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”

“Gosh, you guys are worse to third-wheel than Bad and Skeppy,” Zelk mumbled, taking a sip of his own drink.

Tapl rolled his eyes. “Oh, you’re not _third-wheeling_ us. What do you want us to do, hold _your_ hand?”

Zelk batted his lashes and held out his hand.

God. He regretted everything.

* * *

Fencing tournaments had never left him quite this breathless before, but he supposed there was a first for everything.

“Harvey,” Skeppy laughed, shaking him by the shoulders as they looked at the placements on the board. “Harvey! You’re fifth place!”

There were mixed reactions from the crowd that had formed around the placements list but none negative: Dream and Techno playfully quibbling over Techno earning first place over him, Tommy hyping Tubbo up for the next tournament, Nestor and Ginger congratulating every fencer they could recognize (Tapl being one of them and had subsequently been jumpscared by both their shouts and his placement). Yet nobody else seemed to be as frozen in shock as he was.

“I’m fifth place? What the hell?” Tapl breathed.

Skeppy ruffled his hair with the same fondness he would extend to a brother. “You popped off. Good shit, man.”

Then it hit him.

Holy shit, he got fifth place in their largest annual tournament.

“Holy crust,” Tapl said. He whirled around to Skeppy with a grin. “I got fifth place!”

“You got fifth place!”

“I got fifth place!” His mind raced at the speed of lightning, and there was a new bounce in his step. “Zak, what—oh my goodness, what do I do now?”

“Well, what’re you thinking right now?”

Spifey. He ached to tell Spifey.

In what he usually would’ve regarded as a bad decision if it weren’t for the sheer amount of adrenaline running through him, Tapl ran back to where he had left his gear, took his phone out, and tapped on Spifey’s contact. Skeppy had run with him and now stood beside him as they waited for Spifey to pick up.

Well, Skeppy would probably want to hear the conversation. Tapl tapped on the speaker button with his thumb.

“... Hello?” came a voice from the other end.

“Yoooooo!” Skeppy immediately shouted right into the microphone, stunning both Tapl and probably ending Spifey’s ears.

“Zak?” Spifey laughed with a hint of pain tinging his tone. “Zaaaak. Why do you do this to me? I thought Harvey was calling…”

Skeppy giggled to himself, and Tapl rolled his eyes and took on the duty of answering. 

“Hey, I’m here,” Tapl said. “Sorry about Zak being… himself.”

“Wow, fuck you,” Skeppy snorted.

Tapl elected to ignore that and continued talking instead, his giddiness elevated to a level he didn’t know existed. “Ignore him. But George. George! Guess what?”

Spifey gasped. “You found a way to restore balance to the world?”

“Boring. No.”

“You found a way to become Thanos and combo half the world to death?”

“No, but that does sound like something I should look into.”

“You—”

“Holy shit, he got fifth place in our fencing tournament today,” Skeppy groaned. “God, dude, how’d you come up with that off the top of your head?”

The other end of the call went silent for a bit before Spifey’s suppressed laughter was audible through the microphone and the chatter in the background.

“Harvey,” Spifey called through his laughter. And in the fondest voice, he said, “Harvey! You’re incredible!”

All the confidence surging through him earlier popped out of existence after hearing that. Tapl could feel himself reddening, and he suddenly felt much more uncertain of this entire call. He laughed some bit of that uncertainty away before saying, “No, no, it was a lot of luck—”

“Shut up right now, we both know you’ve been training for this. And it’s paid off!”

They continued the conversation back-and-forth as long as they can before Tapl was forced to hang up from the sheer noise in the background. After Tapl said his goodbyes and set his phone back into its place with his gear, he turned to face Skeppy, every inch of him filled with a renewed energy.

“You really made me third-wheel a phone call, huh?” Skeppy teased with a grin.

Tapl could only laugh at that. His brain had short-circuited from all the input.

“You really like him, huh?”

He nodded without hesitation.

“You want a hug?”

Tapl wrapped his arms around Skeppy and squeezed as tightly as he could, Skeppy barking out a surprised laugh and throwing his arms around Tapl in return. The other members of their school’s team were headed back their way, and nobody seemed to be in the mood for quiet.

And if Tapl lost his voice the next day from screaming and yelling too much, that was his business and his business only.

* * *

Quiet days were harder and harder to come by nowadays.

A6d's gaze didn’t stray from his computer screen even after Tapl stumbled over himself twice walking into the school’s news broadcast room and after Tapl plopped down in the seat next to him. He held out the right half of the earbuds plugged into the computer. “Oh, hi. Things get too loud for you?”

“You could say that.” Tapl accepted the earbuds and nodded as thanks, pausing to plug it into his ear. Seemed A6d was hooked onto anime opening songs recently. “You still writing this week’s script?”

A6d nodded, then his head snapped towards Tapl. “Wait, was your fencing tournament last weekend?”

“Um, yeah?”

“What placement did you get? I could probably put that into the script to take up time.”

Tapl raised an eyebrow.

Bragging about individual placements in sports wasn’t an uncommon thing for their school, but something about it felt… distasteful, almost? Hell, he didn’t even disclose his individual placements to his friends who weren’t in fencing (Spifey was an exception. Spifey was always an exception, wasn’t he?). Working something like that into a conversation felt impossible. Telling the whole school his individual placement revved up his fight or flight instinct.

But this was for a friend. The script was due tomorrow, and by the looks of it, A6d hadn’t even had half of it written.

Ugh. A6d owed him one.

“... Fifth place,” Tapl said. “In sabre, at least. Techno got first, Dream got second.”

A6d nodded understandingly. “Oh, you told me about their duel. Thank you.”

“You owe me one.”

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment after that, listening to the same playlist while A6d worked and Tapl shut his eyes.

“By the way,” A6d said with a growing smile on his mouth. He turned back to the computer screen. “I’m not putting your individual placements in this. I never planned to. You always looked uncomfortable with that. I was just wondering and I knew you wouldn’t tell me if I just asked you.”

Tapl blinked.

God, why was his friend so smart? When had he signed up to get his ass kicked in this game of 4D chess?

“I hate you,” Tapl grumbled, crossing his arms. Judging by A6d’s giggle, his faux annoyance hadn’t been convincing in the slightest.

He didn’t need to think about why he was so hesitant on giving a non-fencing friend his placement compared to his dumb, idiot past self literally calling Spifey on the phone in excitement. But now that he was thinking about it, that was the most excitement anyone had given to Tapl announcing his placement, and it had all felt so genuine. Had he really been that excited with him?

A6d glanced over his way for a split second, but that was apparently all the time he needed. "You're smiling. Is it because you’re thinking of Spifey?”

What the fuck.

A6d burst out laughing. He knew what he said.

“How do you know about that?” Tapl asked in disbelief. “I’ve literally never talked to you about this!”

A6d shrugged. “I mean, it’s not like I’m blind. It’s pretty obvious that you’re dating.”

“Not… Not dating.”

“But would like to?”

Tapl paused at that, then allowed himself to smile, his heart fluttering at the thought of it. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

“Good luck,” A6d said. He turned back to face the computer screen with no hint of emotion on his face. “I’m proud of you.”

 _For your placement in the tournament. For coming to terms with your feelings and preparing to act on them._ But A6d would never voice that out loud; he had never been the openly affectionate type anyway. That one sentence had probably already taken all of him to say out loud, and Tapl appreciated that.

“Thank you,” Tapl said.

And they left it at that. That was all they needed anyway.

* * *

Scratch that last tournament and how supportive everyone had been of each other—Skywars was officially the worst club in this entire school, perhaps even the entire country.

“So,” Tommy said as slung his sword towards the ground, “Mister Tap-El Harvey. T-Pain. Master of sabre fencing. Are you ready to have your crown knocked off?”

“We’re doing foil right now, Tommy, there’s no crown to knock off. And never call me those last two names again.”

“I said what I said.”

Tapl glanced to Techno, who only offered him a shrug.

The enjoyment of duels heavily depended on who Tapl was paired with, who was refereeing the match, and what level of crackhead energy everyone had decided to be on today. Seeing as how Techno was the referee, Tommy was his opponent, and this was the first meeting after a large tournament, everyone who happened to pass by the empty school hall would be greeted with either two grown students bullying a small child or that small child bullying the two grown students.

Fun.

“Is it too late to switch partners?” Tapl joked, to which Tommy pouted.

“You’re pretty much stuck with him for today,” Techno said. “Anyway, masks on and blades tested, nerds.”

Tapl rolled his eyes before pulling his mask on. Thank goodness that hid his smile. He waited for Tommy to equip his mask as well before pushing the tip of his blade against the metal of Tommy’s lamé, nodding when the buzzer lit up.

Tommy held his sword up and poked the absolute shit out of Tapl’s lamé, not hard enough for Tapl to think it was intentional but hard enough for Tapl to remember how much sheer strength people in this club had. The buzzer lit up as well.

“Hit lighter next time,” Techno noted quietly. “I’ll let it off the hook this time ‘cause it’s Tapl, but—”

“Hey!” Tapl called as Tommy laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean, huh? Am I about to be bullied by two people today?”

“Probably, yeah. Back up now.”

Tapl scoffed before backing up to the starting line and raising his sword to salute both Tommy and Techno. He smiled when Tommy saluted him and Techno back.

“En garde. Pretz? All—Okay, hold it, normies coming our way."

Tapl allowed his arm to rest by his side, bringing his sword down with it. He took the moment to sigh and roll his shoulder. When would the club find a more secluded place to practice?

"Wait a second," came another voice. "Harvey?"

That voice was familiar. So familiar.

"George?" Tapl ripped his mask off, not bothering to fix his hair before his vision focused on Spifey standing a good ways from the fencing strip. He couldn't help the grin on his face as Spifey approached him. "George! What's up?"

Spifey shot him a grin as well. "I just got done helping out with the robotics club a bit. I was walking back, then I thought I saw you, so…" His gaze drifted to Techno and Tommy, who had somehow veered off the strip and stood by Techno's. "Is this a bad time to have a chat?"

"No, no, not at all," Tommy said. He leaned in towards Techno and whispered, "This is deffo flirting, isn't it? This is deffo flirting."

Tapl didn't have time to concern himself with whatever Tommy was whispering to Techno, who looked as if he regretted every choice in his life. But Techno could defend himself against a small child. Probably.

“You wanna watch me bully Tommy?” Tapl asked.

Tommy pulled a face. “Hey, what the fuck?”

“Sure, sounds fun,” Spifey laughed.

“Stand next to me then,” Techno said. He waited until Spifey moved to stand on the other side of the fencing strip before adding, “Can we start the match now?”

Tapl shrugged and pulled his mask on, watching as Tommy did the same. No need to test blades or salute again.

Techno glanced over both of their gear before counting them down.

Tapl pointed his blade forward. He waited until Tommy moved into lunge distance before bringing his blade underneath Tommy’s, then sending him stumbling back.

Heh. That was satisfying.

Tommy stopped. He looked towards Techno, who shrugged once more.

“Come on, fight me,” Tapl called. “I’m waiting for you to fight me. Looking at my watch right now.”

“I don’t trust you.” Despite that, Tommy lunged again, only to be met with the same defensive maneuver. “What the hell?”

“What’s happening?” Spifey asked. Techno mumbled something quietly enough for neither Tommy nor Tapl to hear, but judging by the chuckling in the midst of his explanation, he had already caught onto what Tapl was trying to teach.

Tapl laughed as Tommy attempted another attack, only to be pushed back again. “I’m doing the same thing, Tommy. Hit me, come on.”

“I’m fucking—” Tommy waved his sword back and forth. He was on the right track. “Oh, where am I gonna attack? Where am I gonna attack, huh?”

“Um, right there?” Tapl caught Tommy’s blade just before it could hit him and threw him back.

“Stop it! Stop disengaging!”

“That’s not a disengage!”

“Yes, it is!”

“No, it’s not!”

“Guys, you’ve been fighting for five minutes and nobody’s gotten a point yet,” Techno said.

That was true. Five minutes was generally how long an entire match lasted, not a single bout.

Tapl grinned upon hearing Spifey laugh when he just barely deflected another attack. God, he couldn’t tell if his heart was beating this fast from the match or from Spifey’s laughter. 

Then Tommy froze in that way he always did when he came to a realization.

Oh, no. He noticed. And knowledge (or lack thereof, more frequently) was Tommy’s greatest weapon.

“So,” Tommy snickered, “now that I know your weakness, what’s your tactic here, SimpL?”

SimpL? That was the best name Tommy could come up with?

“Weakness?” Spifey mused.

“Oh, yeah. He has a pretty big weakness here. You could say a tall weakness.”

Spifey offered him a confused smile. “What?”

Tommy relaxed his arm and turned towards Spifey. “Say, Mister… um, what’s your name?”

“You can call me Spifey.”

“Mister Spifey. Spiff-man. Bro.” Tommy let out a short laugh at the ever-growing confusion on Spifey’s face. “Could you do me a favor and keep talking throughout the match? You know, just as a—”

Okay, this couldn’t continue.

Tapl dove forward and pressed the tip of his blade against Tommy’s torso. The buzzer lit up, indicating he had won a point.

“Aaaand one point for Tapl,” Techno said. “That’s why you never trust anyone.”

Tapl retreated back to the en garde line. “Come on! Fight me fairly!”

“How would I fight unfairly?” Tommy asked, knowing full well how he would fight unfairly. Little shit.

Techno counted down in the most deadpan voice he could pull, and the next bout began.

After pushing Tommy and his blade back once, twice, thrice, Tommy huffed and stopped to think. While that clearly wasn’t a preferable action in the middle of a bout as shown by that previous bout, winning wasn’t the point of this duel. Tapl hadn’t gone into this duel without one clear goal in his head.

“Think about it,” Tapl said quietly. “I’m doing the same move over and over again and it’s working. What does that mean about you?”

A couple seconds passed before Tommy advanced forward and swung his blade. Tapl moved to hit him back once more before the blade swung to the opposite direction.

Ha. He learned.

Tapl smiled when the tip of the blade pressed into his torso and the buzzer lit up, Tommy cheering so loudly he was certain everyone upstairs could hear it.

“Oh! Oh! Did you see that feint? That clean feint?” Tommy cheered. “You got _pranked,_ T-Pain! Fucking bamboozled! I’m a fencing machine!”

Tapl laughed as he walked backwards to the starting line. “Tommy wins one bout and he’s like, _‘Oh, I won the tournament!_ ’”

“Shut up, apple man, I’m the fencing champion!”

“One, one,” Techno said. “Now that Tapl’s gotten his lesson of the day out of the way, can we get a more interesting duel?”

“Lesson of the—I won that fair and square, Blade,” Tommy huffed. He detached his sword from the strip. “I’m gonna go beat the shit out of Tubbo now. I don’t need whoever the hell Tap-El is anymore.”

“And by beat up, you mean brag about this to Tubbo, right?” Tapl snickered.

Tommy didn’t grace that with a response. He took his mask off, disconnected himself from the strip, and scurried over to where Tubbo and Dream dueled.

Techno snorted. “I guess that’s a draw then.”

“Nah, dude, you know I would’ve won.” Tapl paused to take his mask off, smiling immediately upon seeing Spifey clap silently for him. So he had stayed after all.

"I'll duel you next, I guess," Techno said. "I need to get my sword, though."

He glanced back to Techno. "Um, do you mind if I take a couple minutes to walk my friend back to his car? We'll be quick." Wait. "I mean, if that friend would like me to—"

"I would," Spifey said quietly.

"Your friend?" Techno asked. And his mouth shifted ever so slightly into a ghost of a smirk.

No. This was not about to come from Techno of all people. Years of friendship, years of learning how to read Techno's outwardly blank face had culminated in this. And worst of all, it was invisible to everyone except him.

"Yes, my friend," Tapl said, rolling his eyes.

Techno's stare shifted just subtly enough that if Tapl blinked, he would miss it.

Tapl made a face. "Don't give me that look."

"Whatever, man," Techno said. He dropped his stare and stretched his arm. "Be ready to duel when you get back."

Tapl disconnected his sword (and handed both the sword and mask to Techno. Not like he trusted anyone else in this damn club with anything) and himself from the strip before turning to Spifey. “I kinda look like a clown in my fencing gear. You still wanna go outside with me?”

Spifey blinked at that. “You look good in everything, you’ll be fine. Are you sure you want to go outside in the first place? I mean, you’re practicing and all—”

“Dude, of course.” Tapl began walking forward, Spifey following beside him. “How far do you need to walk?”

“Not too far. Shouldn’t take up much of your time.” Then Spifey paused and lowered his voice. “Techno told me you dragged out the length of that match just to teach Tommy when to feint. Is that true?”

God. Had he really been that easy to read?

Tapl shrugged. “That’s one way of looking at it, yeah.” He grinned when Spifey began laughing. “What? What do you want from me?”

“No, no, nothing, I just…” Spifey’s laughter melted into a fond smile. “You’re really something else.”

Tapl’s mouth moved before his mind could. “Yeah, I’m built different.”

Spifey laughed at that again, and their conversation veered off to another subject far removed from fencing.

It was only halfway through his duel with Techno when Tapl realized what Spifey had been trying to say.

* * *

“Please don’t tell me you’re drunk again.”

“I’m not, I’m just being myself.”

“I can’t tell which is worse.”

Finn narrowed his eyes and smacked a giggling Spifey on the shoulder, and Tapl wondered if he would ever know what the fuck was happening in the moment.

This was initially supposed to be a study session (which, at this point, was code for “fucking around with books on the table”) at Finn’s place. Skeppy had been invited as well, but he bailed at the last second. He had the right idea; this hangout had quickly devolved into Tapl watching Finn and Spifey take shots at each other while all three sat on the floor of Finn’s bedroom.

To be fair, though, that was far more entertaining than schoolwork.

“I hate you,” Finn huffed. “Harvey, why aren’t you defending me?”

“Why should I have to defend either of you?” Tapl said, keeping his gaze planted firmly on the pages in front of him. Maybe if he didn’t look, he wouldn’t be pulled into whatever was happening.

“Defend me because the man just bit straight into a banana.”

“He _what?_ ”

Tapl looked up, only to see Spifey staring wide-eyed at them with a suspicious chunk taken out of the unpeeled banana in his hand.

This was it, huh? This was the man he had fallen for.

Tapl burst out laughing as Spifey slowly swallowed the chunk and frowned at the taste. “What? What’re you doing?”

“I’m hungry,” Spifey said, laughing along.

“That’s not how it works!”

“I’m hungry, dude.”

“Stop!”

“Try it!” Spifey held the banana out to him, covering his mouth with his arm as he continued laughing. “Trust me, it tastes amazing.”

Tapl took the banana. He looked up at Spifey’s expectant expression and Finn shaking his head.

Was he really about to do this? Was he really considering taking a bite through a banana peel just because it would be funny? Did this technically count as peer pressure?

Tapl bit into the banana and immediately tasted regret. Judging by Finn and Spifey’s laughter, they could see it on his face.

The banana peel was chewy in the worst way possible and bitterer than anything he had ever tasted before. The texture difference between the peel and the softer banana inside was possibly the most offensive thing he had eaten recently. Ugh, what the hell was this?

But he swallowed it down and forced a smile on his face as he handed the banana back to Spifey. “Oh, thanks for the dinner, that tasted amazing.”

“I can’t believe you two,” Finn groaned.

“Do you wanna try it, Finn?” Spifey asked with a grin.

“Keep that shit away from me.”

“No, try it, it’s good. Don’t you trust us?”

“Not at all—” Finn cut himself off with a scream as Spifey tossed the banana at him. “Bro, what the hell?”

Tapl laughed as the two squabbled.

It was worth it.

* * *

Seapeekay was late. Unusual.

“Petition to remove Callum from the Jolliboys?” Tapl asked.

“Signed. What time is it anyway?” Sapnap tapped on the screen of his phone before Tapl could answer. “Wait, it’s been twenty minutes? Dude.”

Tapl rolled his eyes.

Their formation as the three Jolliboys hadn’t been too long ago. It had started over some stupid Twitter post they had all commented on, and here they were now, meeting for lunch at the Jollibee near the school on a particularly lazy Saturday. Tapl had arrived first, Sapnap arriving soon afterwards. Seapeekay, on the other hand, hadn’t shown any sign of being alive.

“You wanna text him?” Tapl said.

Sapnap shrugged and picked up his phone.

Tapl picked his own phone up, though for a different reason.

 **TapL [01:22]** hey u awake?  
 **Spifey [01:22]** of course not

Tapl snickered at that.

 **TapL [01:22]** oh my mistake  
 **TapL [01:23]** how long have you not been up?  
 **Spifey [01:23]** a couple hours now  
 **Spifey [01:23]** stayed the night at vurbs actually, banged my head on the doorway when i was walking out  
 **Spifey [01:23]** so good morning to you :)  
 **TapL [01:24]** deserved  
 **Spifey [01:24]** what for  
 **TapL [01:24]** joe  
 **Spifey [01:24]** joe?  
 **Spifey [01:24]** wait no  
 **TapL [01:25]** joe mama gottem

“Why’re you laughing so hard?”

Tapl set his phone down, willing his laughter to fade out. “Just Joe.”

Sapnap grinned, and that was when Tapl realized his mistake. “Angie daddy?”

“Why do I try these things on you?”

“Get good, scrub.”

Tapl rolled his eyes and turned back to his phone.

 **TapL [01:26]** geo whered u go  
 **Spifey [01:26]** why do i talk to you  
 **TapL [01:26]** you love me  
 **Spifey [01:26]** well  
 **Spifey [01:26]** cant argue against that

“You’re red now. Come on, man, don’t make me a third wheel when the second wheel isn’t even here,” Sapnap whined. “I already third wheel for Dream and George. Don’t make me third wheel for you and Spifey.”

Tapl froze, then his gaze flitted up to Sapnap. “Was it that obvious?”

“Um, he was literally staring at you like an idiot when we practiced our presentation in front of him.”

Oh. Huh. That brought a smile to his face. But how was he supposed to respond to this?

Tapl bit his lip. “Sapnap, you mind helping me with a text back?”

Sapnap snorted and yoinked Tapl’s phone off the table.

“What—Sapnap! No!”

“Trust me, I’m an expert at this,” Sapnap said, laughing. He passed Tapl’s phone back after typing into it.

Tapl snatched the phone up and checked the messages.

 **TapL [01:27]** i love u too <3  
 **Spifey [01:27]** :D

Tapl blinked. “Wow, you didn’t meme your way through this conversation.”

“What can I say? I’m a pro.”

Tapl didn’t grace that with a response.

 **TapL [01:28]** ive gotta go but  
 **TapL [01:28]** lets hang out next week  
 **Spifey [01:28]** like just the two of us?

Oh, god, oh fuck. What was he supposed to say to that?

 **Spifey [01:28]** sure  
 **Spifey [01:28]** are you down with running together? I know a good trail

Tapl’s heartbeat quickened, and his cheeks flushed with warmth.

Was this a date? Was this just a friendly hangout? What was this?

Ah, fuck it, now wasn’t the time to wonder about that.

 **TapL [01:29]** of course  
 **TapL [01:29]** next saturday?  
 **Spifey [01:29]** yeah :)  
 **Spifey [01:29]** ill text you about the details later?  
 **TapL [01:30]** yeah  
 **TapL [01:30]** talk to you later then?  
 **Spifey [01:30]** talk to you later!

“Holy fuck, I’m so sorry,” came a breathless voice. “Wilbur fucked with me this morning so I had to kill—is Harvey dying?”

Tapl hid his reddening face behind his hands, his heart quivering.

Goodness. Spifey had knocked all the air out of him in just a couple of words. How was he supposed to handle this?

“Yeah, he’s just dying a little bit, he’ll be fine.” Sapnap clapped him on the shoulder. “You want some chickenjoy?”

Tapl nodded.

Sapnap took his hand off Tapl’s shoulder. “Come on, Callum, let’s order.”

The rest of the hangout (after Tapl had gotten ahold of himself) had been worth the wait; Sapnap and Seapeekay were fun, kind, bright people. Hanging out with them had calmed his heart and taken his mind off whatever the hell was happening between him and Spifey now.

He was grateful for that.

“Harvey,” Sapnap called, “how much do you bet I can’t eat this order in five minutes?”

Tapl laughed at the sheer amount of chicken in front of Sapnap. “Five dollars.”

“Alright, alright. Callum, can you set the timer?”

“Already on it,” Seapeekay said.

And that day, he lost five dollars, but he had no regrets.

* * *

Saturday had approached so much quicker than Tapl had expected. And now it was a Friday afternoon, and the realization of what he had agreed to the previous week hit him like a train.

“Tapl?” Bad called, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. “You alright?”

“Bad, help me,” Tapl managed to croak out.

Helping Bad pack for a robotics tournament, then Bad taking him out for ice cream had become routine at this point. Today, they were seated on a bench outside. Bad had been halfway through talking about whatever shenanigans Skeppy had dragged him into today when Tapl felt his lungs and emotions had been punched simultaneously.

Dread knotted in his stomach, and panic grew like roots into that knot. Their hangout (date? hangout?) was less than twenty-four hours away. He needed a day’s worth of time to prepare hanging out with friends; how was he supposed to mentally prepare himself for this? It was just spending time with somebody he cared for deeply. It shouldn’t be this nerve-wrecking.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Bad said. He set his cup of ice cream on his lap. “You okay with me touching your shoulder?”

Tapl nodded, and the warmth of Bad’s hand batted some of the nerves away.

“What’s up, Harv? You can talk to me.”

Right. Bad was a trustworthy person. Whatever he said in this conversation would stay in this conversation.

Tapl gulped whatever bite of ice cream he had had in his mouth when the passage of time hit him. The tension in his shoulders eased just the slightest bit. “Um… oh, gosh, I don’t wanna tell you this.”

“Then you don’t have to—”

“I know that, I’m just saying it’s hard to say it out loud.” Tapl chuckled, a nervous reflex he had picked up over the years. He had already said it to everyone else; he might as well say it to Bad. “So at this point, you probably know I like George.”

“Which George?” Bad hummed.

“Uh, the British one.”

“They’re both British.”

“The one in your first class.”

“They’re both in my first class.” Upon seeing the unamused look on Tapl’s face, Bad snickered and gently pushed his shoulder. “I’m just kidding. I know which one you’re talking about. What about it?”

It would be easier to show it, wouldn’t it?

Tapl pulled his phone out, scrolled back to their messages about the hangout, then passed it to Bad.

The moments that passed as Bad were insufferable. The anticipation for what Bad would say, what he would think, what he would advise him to do crescendoed right up until Tapl thought he couldn’t take it anymore. And then—

Bad giggled and handed his phone back to him. “Well, I don’t see any problem with these texts. What’s the issue here, Tapl?”

He knew what the issue was. He definitely knew what the issue was. He and Skeppy had practically adopted the same _“I know but I’m not gonna say it until you tell me”_ grin. But in his experience, there was no combatting that besides just spitting out the truth.

“Um…” Tapl sighed, curling all his pride into a ball and throwing it away. “I don’t know if it’s a date or a hangout or what. Does it seem like one of them to you? You’re older than me, so I just kind of assumed maybe you’d have a better idea of—”

“Harvey, you’re rambling.”

“Oh.”

Bad leaned back against the bench and looked up at the sky. It was a frustrating clear blue today. “I can’t answer that for you. The only person who can is Spiffy. But I will say specifying only you two is pretty strange for just friends.”

Tapl grinned, the nerves fading as he slipped back into their normal conversation. “Just like you and Skeppy do?”

“Just like me and—Hey!" Bad pouted at Tapl's laughter. "We're talking about you today, not me.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.”

“You’re on thin ice, mister,” Bad huffed. But he continued. “The more important question to ask is what _you_ want it to be. Do you want it to be a date or a hangout?”

Oh, god, the focus was on him again. But that wasn’t a hard question to answer by any means.

Tapl laughed into his hand and averted his gaze to his lap. “I, um… Well, you already know the answer to that.”

“No, I don’t. Tell me.” He grinned again in that smug way of his. Skeppy had rubbed off on him too much.

“Bad, I know you know.”

“Do I?”

“I don’t like you.”

“That’s fair.”

Tapl paused. “I’m just kidding. You’re great, Bad. Um…” He laughed. That lifted some of the pressure off his heart. “I want it to be a date. I really want it to be a date. Hanging out is nice and all, but—Bad! Oh my god!”

His heart was racing now, and Bad chuckled at him from behind a hand. His face felt as if it had been lit on fire. How could the thought of one person do this to him?

“You like him?” Bad giggled.

Tapl held his face in his hands, letting the full course of emotions run through him. It was… nice. These feelings were warm, fuzzy, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah,” Tapl said. “I really like him. I like him too much.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. I think if you like him this much, it’s the optimal amount.” Bad scooped up a spoonful of ice cream and laughed. “But just between you and me, Skeppy and I have been talking about this for a while and—”

“You and Zak talk about this?”

“Yeah. And guess what he told me.”

“No.”

Bad huffed. “Well, you’re no fun, are you?”

Tapl grinned back.

“Oh, don’t give me that look, apple man. I guess I’ll just tell you then.” Then Bad’s voice became softer, gentler. “He told me he’s really rooting for you guys. He has been since the beginning. And so have I and a lot of other people you’d be surprised about.” He smiled. “You’ve got this, okay? We believe in you!”

And Tapl couldn’t help but smile with him. “Thanks, Dad.”

Silence. Then all the warm feelings in his heart screeched to a halt.

“Wait, no—”

Bad gasped. “Did you just call me… dad?" His face brightened. "Yes, son?”

Oh, goodness, he had Finn as a mother, A6d as a father, and now apparently Bad as another father. What was going on with this family?

They spent the rest of their hangout discussing what the hell their family tree was, starting from the obvious Finn being his mother to the various divorces and remarriages Bad and Skeppy had gone through.

Then Tapl laughed as Bad claimed Spifey as his son-in-law as well.

It was confusing, but so was love, wasn't it?

* * *

Normally he'd dress up a little more for this type of occasion, but he figured running in more than a T-shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes would make him look like even more of a clown than he already did.

The running trail was a popular one in the area, being shaded and long enough for serious runners to run without getting bored of the scenery. Tall trees surrounded every space offroad, and even through spring, dead leaves created a cushion on the ground.

The moment he reached where they had agreed to meet up, his stomach knotted.

Of course Spifey had dressed in his stupid black tracksuit pants and black jacket—and of course he still looked stunning underneath the rays of sunlight beaming through the canopy. But his grin upon seeing Tapl approach shined brighter than the sun.

"Hey," Spifey called, almost breathless. Why was he the breathless one? "You bring everything with you?"

Tapl held up his bottle of water. "Yup. We're going slow today, right?"

"I mean, the track's sixteen kilometers long. I think we'd die if we went quickly."

"So that's a no?"

Spifey laughed, flicked him on the head, then took off running down the path.

Oh. Rude.

Tapl huffed and ran after him, smiling at Spifey’s laughter when he joined his side.

* * *

The couple of miles they ran were slow enough for them to hold an easy conversation. They had spent much of that time pushing and prodding each other, passing by families on walks, dogs being walked, and runners training for their next race.

“Race you to the next bench?” Spifey asked.

Tapl rolled his eyes. “No way. You’re tall, that’s not fair.”

“Oh, my apologies. I thought you said you were the tallest man in the world.”

Tapl took off running to the next bench in sight, laughing when he heard Spifey stutter then break into a run after him.

Both being capable runners, they reached the bench in just a moment, though Tapl ultimately reached the bench first. When he turned, he laughed at the messy state of Spifey’s hair. “Dude, your hair got fucked up. What happened?”

"Uh… I may or may not have run into a couple of branches.”

“Wow, idiot. Here, let me fix it.”

Spifey bowed his head down just enough for Tapl to card his fingers through his hair.

Oh, no. This wasn’t doing good things to his heart. He continued anyway, careful to keep his touch light.

“Holy crust, how’d you mess up your hair this bad?” Tapl asked. Making conversation was the only way he could think of distracting himself from being this close to him.

“Well, I wasn’t really thinking fast enough to avoid the branches in my way. That’s what happens when you’re tall.”

Fucking tall people. They flexed too much and for what?

“Or maybe you’re just not thinking.” Tapl brushed one last lock of hair behind Spifey’s ear, his touch lingering just a bit as he admired how Spifey’s eyes glittered back at him. Maybe he was the one not thinking.

Then Spifey smiled at him with the warmth of the sun and looked at him so fondly he could die on the spot.

How was Tapl expected to defend himself against this? He had always thought Spifey’s smile was beautiful—really, all smiles were. But there was something particular about Spifey’s that had drawn him in, and there was no escape. Nor did he want to escape. It made him feel warm, safe even. How could one smile do that to him?

“I don’t know,” Spifey said softly. “I can’t really think when you’re around.”

Tapl’s breath hitched.

Holy fuck. What was he meant to think of that?

The smile slipped off Spifey’s face, and he suddenly looked a bit more unsure of himself. “Um, stop me if you feel uncomfortable or anything. I have to tell you something.”

“Can I ask you something first?”

“Go ahead.”

Oh, no. Why’d he say that? Why’d he have to say that?

Okay, he had to calm down. Everyone who had helped him with this—they were rooting for him in their own way.

Yeah. Here went nothing.

“Uh…” Well, there was no running away from this one. Tapl gulped and looked up at him, every nerve in his body jittering. “Is this—Is this a date?”

The words were out now. There was no turning back.

Spifey averted his gaze to the floor, his face slowly reddening. Tapl didn’t think he had ever seen him so embarrassed before. There was a pause, but before Tapl could backtrack, Spifey mumbled out, “Do you… Do you want it to be…?”

Silence.

“I…” Tapl ducked his head and chuckled. “Yeah. I really like you. I have for some time now.”

“Oh my god.” Spifey buried his face into his hands and laughed.

“Uh, George? You alright?”

“No, no, I’m fine, but—” Spifey turned towards Tapl, his grin shining brighter than any star in the universe. “I’m just so happy you like me back. I thought you liked the other George.”

Tapl’s heart stopped. “You like me back?” Then he paused, and he swore he could almost hear a record scratch. “Wait, you thought I liked the other George? Are you dumb? I’ve literally had, like, two conversations with him at most.”

“I mean, you were describing him back at the library.”

Tapl took hold of Spifey’s upper arm and shook him gently, now aware of how Spifey’s smile grew just a bit brighter when they touched. “George. Geo. Beaver man. You’re an idiot. I was describing _you._ ”

Spifey stopped.

Seconds ticked by.

“Oh my god, you were,” Spifey said quietly.

Tapl burst out laughing again.

“Okay, in my defense, George and I are more similar than I would’ve thought. And besides, you were the one who missed all of my hints, too.” Spifey laughed when Tapl’s laughter didn’t cease. “It’s true! Stop laughing at me!”

“Oh, really?” Tapl teased when his laughter faded.

Spifey rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face gave him away. “Yes, really. Can I ask you a question now?”

“You just did.”

“Shut up. I know our friends knew before us, but I wanted to ask, um…” Spifey laughed. Had they picked up that same nervous habit? “When did you know you liked me?”

Tapl had that day and moment ingrained in his mind, but he pretended to give it thought. He made sure to furrow his eyebrows and everything. “Um, do you remember the movie we all watched together? The one Zak dragged everyone to?”

“The worst movie in my life?”

“Yeah, that one. And you remember when Zelk was being an asshole and took up my armrest?”

“Yeah.”

“You, like…” Tapl looked down and giggled. “You moved away to let me have a bit more space. You were just really kind to me throughout that whole hangout, and I realized you’ve always been… kind to everyone, even to people who don’t deserve it.”

And that was even truer now with the hindsight he had. Ever since they had first met and Tapl had been integrated into the friend group, Spifey was always the person repeating Tapl’s assertion if it went ignored during a particularly chaotic conversation, the person separating himself from the group to join Tapl when he felt he couldn’t handle being around that many people anymore, the person who slowed his speed to match Tapl’s when they walked together. None of that had been unique to Tapl either; Spifey was always the first to extend kindness to someone. And the moment Tapl recognized that pattern, he had just thought his heart was so angelically beautiful.

“Like Vurb?” Spifey joked.

Well, there went that.

Tapl laughed at that. “Like our entire friend group. I don’t know, something about that just stuck out to me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire movie.”

“To be fair, it was a pretty boring one.”

“Okay, wow. I’m trying to be genuine here, and you’re just ruining it.” He turned to Spifey, only to see him biting back more laughter. “Fine, I see when my words aren’t good enough for you. How about you tell me when you knew?”

Spifey paused, then said, “Yours is so sweet, I feel bad about mine now.”

“Dude, just tell me.”

“Um…” Spifey chuckled. “I realized when you punched Zelk in the stomach…?”

There were a lot of strange answers he could’ve thrown out that Tapl would’ve seen coming. This was not one of them.

Tapl blinked. “What?”

“I know that sounds bad, but hear me out. First of all, I know that was more of a joke punch than anything. If you had actually wanted to hurt him, I don’t think he’d be alive right now.”

“Are you calling me strong?” he asked with a smirk. There was his ego boost for the week.

“Well, of course. You could probably beat me up anyway.”

“That’s not fair, anyone could beat you up.”

“Shut up,” Spifey said, though he laughed when Tapl grinned. “After you punched him, you remember all of us laughing, right?”

Huh. Tapl’s memory after the punch was fuzzy, but he could remember something like that happening, Zelk even joining in the laughter soon after. He could also remember the stink eye a nearby family had given him after that. That was a memory he’d like to extinguish from his head.

Spifey continued after Tapl answered with a nod. “That’s just when I realized you make me laugh a lot. Then I thought about it more, and I realized that something about you just…” He smiled and gazed at Tapl so softly he felt he could melt. “Something about being around you just makes me really happy.”

Tapl’s heart trembled now. He masked it with a laugh. “What the hell? You can’t just GG-ten me like that. That’s not fair!”

“It’s just the truth.”

“Shut up.” Tapl leapt out of his seat and stood on the path, offering a hand out to Spifey. “Let’s get going.”

Spifey took the hand. “Yeah.” Once he pulled himself up, he offered Tapl a shy smile. “Does, um… Does that make us boyfriends?”

Boyfriends. That felt right.

“I think so, yeah,” Tapl said quietly.

“Race my boyfriend to the next mile then?”

His heart fluttered. Tapl nodded, and the two took off down the path.

* * *

They had slowed to a walk by the time they reached the end of the trail.

“Look, we made it,” Spifey said, pointing at a familiar tree. The trail had circled around back to their original starting place. “Didn’t take us too long either.”

Tapl looked at their surroundings.

Every aspect of the forest was lively: the green leaves, the sound of pine straw crunching underneath a weight in the distance, birds calling to each other from across the forest. The sky was a light blue, the sun still high in the sky. Light spilled onto the path in dots and streaks.

… Fuck it. He’s wanted to ask this for some time now.

Tapl forced himself to look up at Spifey, offering him a nervous smile. His heart jittered when Spifey smiled back. “Um… finish line kiss?”

Spifey looked down, stifling his laughter with a hand.

Oh, god, backtrack. “I mean, not that you have to. I just figured I would—”

“No, that’s not what—” Spifey cut himself off to gaze at Tapl like he was the only person in the world, moving his hand to brush a strand of hair behind Tapl’s ear. Even after the strand was fixed, his hand lingered on his cheek. “You’re just really adorable. I’d love to kiss you. I was just wondering, uh…” His eyes shifted down, then up.

Oh. Right. Their height difference. He hadn’t thought this one through.

Tapl paused to think as he held his hand over Spifey’s almost automatically. “Um, I guess… you could lean down to kiss me?”

Spifey hummed at that, cupping Tapl’s face in his hand. His gaze moved down to his lips. “I could do that, yeah.”

Spifey closed the gap between their lips, and Tapl melted.

* * *

Monday morning felt different yet routine at the same time.

“Fuck off,” Skeppy hissed, snatching his energy drink away from Vurb. “Get your own damn energy drink, toe bitch.”

“Wow, you’re aggressive today,” Zelk said. His gaze stayed glued to whatever work he had neglected last night. Smart move on his part; eye contact meant almost certainty of getting dragged into one of these conflicts.

“He’s been trying this for twenty minutes. I just want my energy drink.”

Vurb smiled. “If you want energy, just ask Bad for a ri—”

Skeppy screamed, blocking out whatever Vurb had intended to say. Not like he had to finish his sentence for everyone to understand anyway.

“He’s right, you know,” Finn mused after the scream.

“Fuck all of you. Why is Harvey the only nice person here?”

“Ride,” Tapl said.

“I take that back. I hate you all.”

“Me included?” came another voice.

Tapl smiled as somebody settled into the seat next to him.

“Oh, of course, George,” Skeppy said. “You especially, actually.”

Spifey chuckled nervously at that. “Oh. I understand why.”

“Well, Bad’s not here yet, so I’m stuck with you guys for now,” Skeppy sighed. He looked up at Spifey, the faux frustration on his face gone. “Did the… _you know,_ did that work out for you?”

Hm. That wasn’t suspicious at all. But even through the ambiguity of those words, Tapl still had a good idea of what Skeppy was talking about. Judging by the way Spifey glanced at him, Spifey did, too.

He wasn’t worried, though. They had agreed that their friends deserved to know if they asked, especially after putting up with their bullshit for months.

(But they knew. They knew the whole damn time and didn’t say anything. Bastards.)

“Um…” Spifey beamed and turned back to Skeppy. “Yeah. It did.”

And those three words ignited chaos.

“God, fucking finally,” Finn groaned almost immediately after those words left Spifey’s mouth.

Zelk laughed and clapped his hands. “Ha! Pay up, Vurb!” Of course Zelk found a way to monetize this whole situation.

Vurb mumbled an insult underneath his breath while digging around his backpack for his wallet. “Could you two not have waited another week or something?”

“Does this mean I can actually study without you talking about Harvey all the time?” Skeppy asked, “because dude, that was not it for my sanity.”

Finn lied dead on the table, Zelk and Vurb were two seconds away from having a fist fight over the amount of money actually owed, and Skeppy was in the middle of chugging down the rest of his energy drink. That sounded about right for their friends.

Spifey took one look at the chaos, then turned to Tapl. “So, how’re you doing, Harvey?”

Tapl looked around before settling his gaze on Spifey with a smile. “Better than those four.” He glanced down at their hands just a couple inches away from each other. “Um… can I...?”

Spifey took Tapl’s hand.

Tapl laced their fingers together, his heart pounding quicker and quicker with each finger he put down. The surge of serotonin he got from just holding Spifey’s hand shouldn’t have been legal.

“Goodness, you’re turning me into a simp,” Tapl mumbled, hiding as much of his burning face as he could with his other hand.

Spifey grinned. “Does that make me a Chad then?”

Tapl made a face and snatched his hand away, prompting Spifey to burst out into laughter. His lips crumbled into a smile as he moved to hold Spifey’s hand again. He grinned when Spifey squeezed his hand.

God, he was in love. He was so in love, and he couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skeppy and bad cosplay: during MCU, vurb and spifey decide to respectively dress up in skeppy and bad's skins to "confuse" them. vurb explained his idea and as soon as he got to the making out part, tapl yelled at him to shut up. so i just took it and ran with it :3c
> 
> 5th place: tapl's highest mcc player ranking
> 
> tommy vs tapl: [actual video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR5JWniVZ14) on tommy's channel
> 
> cursed banana: [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tv99_MPToA) on spifey's channel
> 
> jolliboys: i refuse to find the tweet its 3:40am but seapeekay did tweet suggesting the three of them make a group called the jolliboys
> 
> dadboyhalo: [this clip](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9VIe_41buE&feature=emb_title)
> 
> anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk. i love u all

**Author's Note:**

> zapl: that time on zelk and tapl's streams where zelk kept flirting with tapl and tapl responded with variations of i will kill you
> 
> kitkat and boba tea: that time on skeppy's stream when spifey was eating a banana sideways and tapl looked and began to also eat a banana sideways
> 
> vurb's tweet: https://twitter.com/JustVurb/status/1292229255175249920?s=20


End file.
